When an Auntie Comes a Callin
by starbyyou
Summary: Orihime's aunt pays a visit. She meets Hitsugaya and becomes the aunt that we all hate due to his adorability.
1. The Call

Yes, yes, I know I should be working on Study Buddies, but, it's summer break for me and I'm _writing about school_! Not to mention, my brain can't think and I haven't asked my aunt for Spanish words cause I forget.

Anyways, this idea has been bugging me for awhile. I think it's kinda amusing. And it does say that Orihime has other relatives who help, yes?

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.

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The Call 

The phone was ringing. Orihime picked it up, "Moshi moshi."

"Orihime, it's your aunt, Eleanor, remember me?"

"Ah, Auntie Eleanor! Of course I remember you." _Does my own aunt think I'm stupid or something?_

"Good, I was just asking because it has been awhile since I've seen you. This brings us to the reason for this conversation. I was wondering if I could, perhaps, come visit you and see how you are doing."

"Of course you can come and visit! I think it would be really cool! Oh, wait…you don't mind if I have friends living with me, do you?"

"Friends, living with you? When did this happen?"

"Um….about a month or so ago."

"Really. Are the nice people?"

"Rangiku-chan is very nice! And Hitsugaya is….nice, but a little …rude, sometimes."

"Ah. I see. So, are they girls? Because I believe that it would be extremely non-moral if you had a boy living with you?"

"Um…Hitsugaya is a boy."

"WHAT! You haven't…you know, with him, have you?"

"What?" _What is she talking about? Oh…wait, I think I know. Pervert. _"NO, Auntie Eleanor, I haven't. Not to mention, Hitsugaya is too young to be doing that. I think. I don't know how old he actually is, but still, he's too young."

"Thank goodness. Don't know what I would say if you had been violated. Do they stay at the house, or do they go to school?"

"They go to school with me."

"Both of them? The same school as you?"

"Yes."

"But I thought you said Hitsugaya was young."

"He is, but he's also really smart."

"I see. A tensai, is he?"

"Yes."

"Ah, it seems I have gotten us off track. Dearie, we need to go back to the reason for this call. My visit. Will your friends mind me coming?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Good. Anyways, I'll be down in a few days. Perhaps by the weekend."

"Okay. I'll start getting ready for your arrival. Eh, wait…do you know where my new address is?"

"Yes, of course I do, dearie."

"Okay, well, I'll see you this weekend."

"Yes, see you. Good bye."

"Good bye." Orihime hung up the phone.

--The Dining Room--

"So, who just called, Orihime?" asked Matsumoto as the girl re-entered the dining room.

"My auntie Eleanor. She's coming to visit for awhile."

"Really?"

"Does she know that Matsumoto and I are here?" asked Hitsugaya.

"Yes. And you know what? When I said that you were a boy, she thought we were sleeping together. Hee hee. Isn't that ridiculous?"

Hitsugaya chocked on the food he just ate before he swallowed it. "What!"

"She thought the two of you were having sex," said Matsumoto. "Are you blushing, taichou? That is so adorable!"

"It is not adorable!"

"Yes it is, Hitsugaya," said Orihime.

"No, it is not!"

"But it is!" The two girls exclaimed.

"I'm through with dinner," said Hitsugaya as he got up to go put the dish away.

"What did we do?"

"He's embarrassed about the idea of having sex. He's a virgin, ya know."

"And you're not?"

Matsumoto burst out laughing. Orihime had a clueless look on her face. _Why is she laughing? _When Matsumoto was calm enough, she said, "Sweetie, I've been around a long while. Of course I've had sex."

"Oh."

"Anyways, we should take care of our dishes."

"Yes."

--That Weekend--

"Hitsugaya, are you done cleaning the bathroom?" Orihime asked.

"Yes," he responded. "Why do _I _have to help clean if it is _your_ aunt?"

"Because, it will make it go faster."

"It's your own fault for not doing it the past few days. But no, you decide to do it on the day she comes."

"Taichou. Just shut up and help clean," Matsumoto's voice came from somewhere in the kitchen.

"But I'm done."

"Do something else."

"There is nothing else to do."

"Oh. Well… I don't know."

Hitsugaya sighed as he put the cleaning supplies back up. Then, all of a sudden, a shadow loomed over him. He turned around.

"Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing?"

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Yay! First chapter done. Poor Hitsugaya. Wonder what he has in store for him, especially since the aunt's gonna be the stereotypical aunt, you should know the kind.


	2. Pinches can Hurt

Yay, second chapter! Thanks to all of you who reviewed, including my retarded little sister. Chicken? Come on.

Don't own Bleach.

Stereotypical aunts are fun!

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Pinches Can Hurt

"Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing," said some strange, slightly chubby, middle age woman who hands reached out and…pinched Hitsugaya's cheeks.

"Who are you?" Hitsugaya asked through gritted teeth. _Damn this hurts. What are her fingers made of? Steel? And why is she pinching my cheeks?"_

"I'm Orihime's aunt, Eleanor. And you must be Hitsugaya. She told me you were young, but didn't mention how cute you were."

"Ow…ow, ow…Can you please let go?"

"Ah, sorry. But you're just so cute," Eleanor said as she released he death pinch on Hitsugaya's cheeks. Hitsugaya rubbed his cheeks.

"Auntie," Orihime said.

"Orihime!" Eleanor exclaimed as she turned a hugged Orihime. "It's so good to see you again!"

"It's good to see you too, auntie. You've meet Hitsugaya, yes?"

"Yes."

"More like attacked me," murmured Hitsugaya, his hands still on his cheeks.

"How'd she attack you," came Matsumoto voices from behind him.

"She pinched my cheeks."

"She pinched your cheeks?"

"It hurt!"

"Sure it did."  
"Fine, don't believe me."

"Hello," said Matsumoto to Eleanor. "I'm Matsumoto Rangiku."

"Oh, hello. I'm Inoue Eleanor. I'm from Orihime's dad's side of the family. Never married."

_I wonder why,_ thought Hitsugaya.

"So, what's for lunch?"

--2 hours Later--

"I think Orihime's aunt is nice. What do you think?" asked Matsumoto.

"I don't like her," replied Hitsugaya.

"Why not?" Matsumoto asked in surprise.

"She pinched my cheeks…and she keeps going on about how 'cute' I am. It's annoying."

"Oh, come on, taichou, that's just stupid. You're acting like a little kid."

"Taichou?" came Eleanor's voice from behind them.  
_Shit,_ the two thought.

"Um…ah…you see, we…we're playing a game. Yes, playing a game about pirates and Hitsugaya's the captain, thus 'taichou'," said Matsumoto hurriedly.

"Ah…it's that sweet. It's always nice to stimulate a young child's mind. Well, I'm off to my room."

As soon as he heard the door close he said, "Playing a game about pirates? Couldn't you have done something better? Now she thinks I'm a little kid."

"Well, to her you are. You don't look that old and she know nothing about Soul Society or anything about our current situation. Just play along."

"I don't want to pretend to be a little kid. It's not like me."

"You sure are doing a good job of it, though," Matsumoto said under her breath.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, nothing at all."

Hitsugaya just stared at her. "You're lying."

"And if I am? What are you going to do?"

"…"

--Making Dinner--

"Hitsugaya, can you cut this?" asked Orihime as she prepared the food.

"Sure," Hitsugaya said as he walked over to the cutting board and began to cut the onions.

"Orihime, are you sure such a young child can cut vegetables? No matter how smart they are, they could still cut themselves," said Eleanor.

_I've cut Hollows with a zanpakutō; I can surely cut an onion with a knife. _Eleanor slipped in her socks on the tiled floor and bumped into Hitsugaya, causing him to cut a large gash along his left forearm. _Shit, it stings. _

"See, what did I tell you? He cut himself."

"What!" said Hitsugaya, slightly ticked off, as could be noticed by the drop in temperature. _The only reason I cut myself is because you bumped into me! Stupid woman! If there wasn't a law that said we couldn't kill humans without authorization, she would be dead! _

"Did it just get colder in here, or is it just me?"

"No, it got colder," said Matsumoto, shooting daggers with her eyes at her fuming taichou. "Hitsugaya, come here and let's get the arm taking care of."

"Fine," grumbled Hitsugaya as he followed Matsumoto into the bathroom.

--The Bathroom--

"Taichou, you need to behave," snapped Matsumoto as she wrapped up Hitsugaya's wound.

"Why?"

"Because, that woman knows nothing and should know nothing of Soul Society until she dies. Understood?"

"We could just use memory substitution if she found out."

"That's beside the point. You are acting like a child."

"I'm not."

"Are too."

"I'm not."

"Are too."

"I'm not."

"Are too."

"I am not acting like a child, Matsumoto."

"Yes you are," Matsumoto said, yanking on the bandage coverings really hard.

"Ow…what was that for?"

"For acting like a child."

"I told you, I am not acting like a child."

"And I say you are."

"I…"

"Hey," said Orihime, poking her head into the bathroom. "Dinner's ready."

"Okay, we're coming," said Matsumoto.

--Dinner--

"So, were are you two from?" asked Eleanor.

"Um…" Hitsugaya and Matsumoto looked at one another with an 'oh-shit' look.

"We're from…Okinawa," said Hitsugaya.

"Really? That's nice. What brings you two here?"

_Damn, she is really nosy. _"We just felt like it."

"Ah. So, why haven't you got a place of your own yet?"

"We…don't have enough money."

"Why not? I bet it cost a lot to move here from Okinawa."

"All our money was spent on moving."

"I see. And you haven't gotten jobs."

"Right!" said Matsumoto. "Hitsugaya is too young, and I'm…"

"Too lazy," supplied Hitsugaya.

"Ah, yes!"

"So, why did you choose to stay with Orihime? This must be your first time to Karakura," asked Eleanor.

"We…meet Orihime over the summer."

"Really. In Okinawa?"

"Ah…yes."

"You went to Okinawa, Orihime?"

"Um…n-" she saw Matsumoto and Hitsugaya shaking their heads and mouthing "say, yes", "Yes, I did. With some friends of mine."

"Really, now. Who paid for it?"

"Ah, actually, Kurosaki-kun, one of the ones who went, had one a free trip to Okinawa."

"Really, now. How did he win it?" _What is her problem_, thought Matsumoto. _Why is she given us the fourth degree. She must watch way too many crime shows._

"Ah, he didn't mention it."

"So, h…"

"How do you like the food?" asked Matsumoto. Hitsugaya looked at her and smiled. This woman was asking way too many questions and he wasn't sure if they could keep up with the lies.

"Oh…it's very…unique. That's for sure. Now, what was I saying?"

"I dunno," said Hitsugaya.

"So, Auntie, how long are you staying?" asked Orihime.

"About three weeks."

_Three weeks! Why is she staying three weeks,_ thought Hitsugaya. _Doesn't she have a job, or what? And I don't know how long we can pretend, since she is extremely nosy. Perhaps I should stop by Urahara's for some memory substitutions. Just in case._

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Yay! Second chapter done! So, what did ya think about Hitsugaya's first encounter with the aunt. Please tell me. And stayed tune for more encounters!

My grandma made me make muffins. They are flat, somehow. XD


	3. Hugs Hurt

Right, the last chapter took place on Sunday, cause in Japan, they go to school on Saturday. So, today is Monday, in the story. Just so ya know.

Don't own. End of Story.

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Hugs Also Can Hurt

Hitsugaya sighed. He was about to attend another day at that hell hole humans called school. He walked out of the room and headed towards the kitchen.

However, he was intercepted by Eleanor.

"Oh my goodness, you look so adorable in that uniform!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms and hugged him. She managed to lift him off the ground.

_Ow. This hurts, this really hurts. Am I not on the floor anymore? _Hitsugaya looked down. He wasn't. _Just how strong is she? _"Um…can…you …put me down. I …can't breath."

"Ah, of course." Eleanor put Hitsugaya down. "I'm sorry, it's just you looked so adorable in that uniform. It makes you seem all grown up."

"…"

Hitsugaya walked into the kitchen and made some toast.

"Morning," yawned Matsumoto as she entered the kitchen.

"Morning," Hitsugaya said around a mouthful of toast.

"Ya know, the longer we stay here, the more childish you seem to get, taichou."

Hitsugaya shot a glare at her, which was ruined as he had the piece of toast hanging out of his mouth. (AN: Like the one episode when Ichigo has the toast in his mouth. I don't remember which one it is.)

Matsumoto snorted. Hitsugaya took the bread out of his mouth.

"You don't seem happy. What's the matter?"

"Orihime's aunt hugged me."

"She…hugged you…" said Matsumoto with disbelief written all over her face.

"Yes."

"Taichou, that's no reason to be so upset."

"Yes it is!" Hitsugaya snapped. "She lifted me off the ground! And she was crushing me!"

"Sure, taichou."

"It's the truth!"

Orihime came into the kitchen, followed by Eleanor. The duo stopped talking. Orihime made something to eat and quickly ate it.

"Let's go!" she exclaimed happily.

Hitsugaya shook his head. He didn't see how anyone could be happy to go to school.

"Well, good bye," say Eleanor. "I'll see you when you get home."

--School--

"Why do you look so pissed off, Hitsugaya?" asked Renji.

"He told me it was cause Orihime's aunt hugged him," said Matsumoto.

"You were…hugged?" said Ichigo.

"Yes! And it hurt," said Hitsugaya.

Ichigo just stared at him.

"It did!"

Everyone just stared at Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya crossed his arms and sank down in his seat.

--After School--

Hitsugaya decided to go to the park. He needed to be away from the crazy lady who kept hurting him because he was 'adorable.'

He sank down onto a swing and curled an arm around the chain. He gently rocked his feet back and forth to move the swing.

Then the stupid phone…thing went off. He pulled it out of his back pocket. The coordinates were for this park, and he could sense the hollow. _Damn._

So, Hitsugaya pulled at the soul candy thing and took one. Soon he was in his normal form.

"Stay here." The gigai nodded.

Hitsugaya ran off in the direction of the hollow. He arrived at the place where it was supposed to be. But it wasn't.

_Where is it? _ Hitsugaya tried to sense the reiatsu, but he couldn't. _Damn, this sucks._

Then he felt claws in his back. _Shit. _Hitsugaya quickly jumped to avoid further injury. _Damn, I was careless. _Hitsugaya turned around to face the hollow. He drew Hyorinmaru and brought it down on the hollows head. Poof, no more hollow. However, he was still hurt.

Hitsugaya walked slowly back to his gigai. The stupid wounds hurt like hell.

--Orihime's Apartment--

Hitsugaya hopped that Orihime was here. His back really hurt, and his vision was starting to get blurry from the blood lost. He opened the door and stumbled in. He could sense Orihime was in here. _Good. _

However, Eleanor came across his path first.

"Hitsugaya…are you okay? You don't look so fine."

"I'm fine," Hitsugaya snapped.

"Now, that's no way to speak to your elders," said Eleanor with a bit of shock in her voice. She had thought Hitsugaya was a decent young man. Maybe this wasn't the case.

_Elder_, thought Hitsugaya. _If only you knew. _"Whatever." He was in no mood to deal with this stupid woman.

"Now see here…" Hitsugaya pushed past her. "Why you…Oh my God! What has happened to you! Your bleeding! Did you get into a fight? Or…was it a pedophile going after you because he thought he could have his way with you! I should call the police!" Eleanor crossed to the phone. "Now, Hitsugaya, please tell me everything that happened."

Hitsugaya just stared at her. The woman did a complete 360. First, she was angry at him, now she was worried about him. "Um…it's nothing."

"Come now, you're bleeding! You had to get those injuries somehow!"

"It's nothing."

"Hitsugaya, you've must have gotten them some how! Just tell me! Unless…you were a willing participant and don't want to expose the person who did this to you. Seriously, the youth of today is so corrupted. Engaging in deviant acts at younger and younger. I'm just glad Orihime isn't like that. And it's a shame that you are."

Hitsugaya stared at her. _What is wrong with this woman? _"No…nothing like that."

"Well then, please tell me."

"I told you it's nothing."

"Hitsu…"

Hitsugaya's ear filled with a roaring sound and everything went black.

--30 minutes later--

Hitsugaya blinked once, twice, three times. Matsumoto was leaning over him.

"Ah, you're awake!" she said brightly.

"Where am I?" he murmured softly.

"The bathroom."

"Why the bathroom?"

"Cause it was the closet place to heal you after you passed out. It's really unlike you to not seek medical attention right away."

"I did! But when I got her, that stupid aunt kept talking and talking and then I passed out!"

"Really now. That's not what she said. She said that she was trying to help you and you weren't cooperating."

"Well, she's lying. I was trying to get to Orihime, and she kept asking who did it and something about deviant acts. I couldn't tell her because it was a hollow."

"A hollow?" came Eleanor's voice from the slightly ajar door.

The duo took on that 'oh-shit' look again.

"It's nothing," said Matsumoto turning around and waving her arms around.

"You keep calling him 'taichou' and all these other suspicious things. Let me guess, a hollow is slang for a rival gang member, isn't it? And you two are in a gang, aren't you? And he's the leader of the gang," she said, pointing at Hitsugaya. "That's why you keep calling him taichou. Orihime isn't involved, is she? Wait…why am I asking you two? You would lie to me." Eleanor quickly left in search of Orihime.

The two just stared at the door.

"I think I see why you don't like her, taichou," said Matsumoto, whose head was still reeling from Eleanor's accusations.

"About time," Hitsugaya muttered.

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Yeah, when shinigami get injured and go back in the gigais they stayed injured. Rukia said something about that.

Yeah, never wrote a fight. That's why it's so short. And Hitsugaya's a captain; he should be able to take on those hollows.

I've been attacked by a kitten repeatedly while writing this chapter.


	4. Visitors Confirm an Aunt's Supsicions

Fourth chapter. Woot! Thanks to all that reviewed.

Don't own.

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Visitors Confirm an Aunt's Suspicions

"Why are you coming over?" asked Hitsugaya suspiciously.

"We want to see this crazy aunt you keep mentioning," said Ichigo.

"Why?"

"Cause she's supposed to be crazy."

"You're logic amazes me," said Hitsugaya sarcastically.

--Orihime's Place--

The group entered the apartment. They arranged themselves on the floor and furniture.

"Where's Orihime?" asked Yumichika.

"She said that she was going to Tatsuki's," said Matsumoto.

"Ah."

"So, where is this crazy aunt?" asked Ikkaku.

"I don't know and I don't care," said Hitsugaya.

"So…what are we going to do?" asked Rukia.

"We should talk about the Arrancar."

"Yeah."

--Eleanor's POV-- (AN: Be afraid, be very afraid.)

I walked out of my room and down the hall. I could hear voices. _Orihime's supposed to be at Tatsuki's, so this must be Hitsugaya's and Matsumoto's friends. The nerve. Inviting people here without the permission of the owner of the place. It's probably a meeting of his gang. And to think I thought those two were decent people._

_Well, I suppose I should get a look at these people, so I can report gang activity and gang members to the police. _

_Orange hair? He must have dyed it. Kids these days, doing whatever it takes to fit in. And why is he scowling? Does he scowl all the time? Gang member._

_Red hair. Not that strange. But…is it in a pony tail? Long hair on a guy? Young people. _I shook my head. _Seriously, young people these days do the most ridiculous things to gain attention. Is it spiky? Why is he wearing a bandana? It looks silly. It covers his entire forehead. Are those…tattoos? Near his eyebrows? Tattoos are so repulsive. Gang member._

_Bald? Bald? BALD! How can a young man be bald! And what are those red things near his eyes? He looks like a thug. Is that a wooden sword? Gang member. Probably does the killings._

_What the hell are those things near his eyes! They look like feathers. Are they feathers? I think they are. He doesn't look like a gang member. But then again, Hitsugaya's the youngest one, so adorable too, and is the leader. Gang member._

_A girl? She doesn't look that bad. Why would such a sweet thing hang out with such thugs? Unless…they're trying to get her to join up. I must prevent that at all cost!_

"So, what do we know about the Arrancar?" asked the orange haired one. (AN: Remember, it's from Eleanor's POV. She doesn't know their names.)

_Arrancar? I bet that is their main rival. If I listen closely, I might be able to gather enough information to get two gangs behind bars._

"We know that their strongest fighters are the Espada. Those are the top ten. We know that one of them was at the attack awhile back. Number six," said Hitsugaya.

"Grimmjaw," muttered orange.

"Yes."

"So, there are nine more people as strong as him?"

"No, the one I fought said that the Espada are ranked according to their strength. So there are some weaker and some stronger than him."

"Great…" muttered the bald one.

"We really need to train. It took us to use Bankai and to remove the limits to beat our opponents. And they weren't Espada."

"That's for sure. And we have trained. Just…need to train more," said red head.

_Espada…the strong people of the Arrancar gang. Grimmjaw. But what the hell are they talking about? Bankai? Removing limits? It must be a code. Going to have to figure it out so I can tell the police so they can be prepared for if they resist arrest._

"Right," said the nice girl. "At least we have a couple of months before the war in winter."

_Maybe I was wrong about her. Perhaps she is in the gang. Perhaps reconnaissance, as she looks innocent and not like a gang member. And did I here her correctly? These people are going to have an all out war in winter? I must definitely try and halt it while I am here these few weeks. Wish I had a notebook._

"But will it be enough? " asked Matsumoto.

"Hopefully," said Hitsugaya. "All the others back in Soul Society are training as well. We should be able to beat Aizen and the Arrancar."

_Aizen? Perhaps he is the leader of the Arrancar gang. Soul Society? Is that the name of their gang? Or is it their base of operation? Probably their base of operation. I wonder if it's listed in the Yellow Pages. I wish they would say there names. This information is useless if I don't have their names._

"So, Ichigo, how's the training with the Vizards?" asked red.

The orange one responded, "It's hell. Making me wash dish and all this other meaningless stuff. And it's taking forever to get the hollow under control."

_So his name is Ichigo, eh. Are the Vizards a special unit of their gang? A special fighting unit? And what does he mean by getting 'the hollow under control.' Is he a druggie? Is that slang for kicking the habit?_

"Why's it taking so long?"

"Shut up, Renji! I liked to see you try and stop a little midget from trying to kill you! That girl is crazy!"

"What girl?"

"Hiyori."

"What about that guy who was pretending to go to school with you?"

"Shinji? He's there too, but Hiyori looks to be the leader."

_Shinji and Hiyori, Vizards. Gang members. I really wish I had a notebook. And red is Renji._

"Man, I'm hungry," said the bald one. "Where's the kitchen?"

"Over there," said Hitsugaya, gesturing in the direction of the kitchen.

The bald one got up and started to walk to the kitchen._ Shit, I'm in the kitchen! Oh no, oh no. Got to do something._

The bald one walked into the kitchen. He looked at me. "Wha…"

"Excuse me," I say as I rush off to my room.

--Third Person--

"Um…Hitsugaya, there was a lady in here, and she ran off. Who was that?" asked Ikkaku.

"Orihime's aunt, Eleanor."

"Oh, so that' the crazy aunt."

"Yeah."

"Wait…" exclaimed Rukia. "She's probably overheard everything we've said."

"Rukia's right," said Yumichika. "Humans shouldn't know about everything we've just discussed."

"I know, I know. But, that lady's crazy. She thinks I'm the leader of a gang. Probably thinks you are all in that gang as well. This is why I said we should have memory replacement, Matsumoto."

"Yeah, I know. Anyone got one?"

They all shook their heads.

"Damn," said Hitsugaya. "Tomorrow, I'm gonna buy one and use it on her."

"I don't think one will cut it," said Matsumoto.

"Eh, you're probably right."

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Whee! It's done! Eleanor is crazy. Will she report them to the police? Will Hitsugaya replace her memories? Will Eleanor stalk Hitsugaya? Stayed tuned for more.

I stepped outside, cause my sister wants to beta this, and I had four sips of a margarita. Woohoo, and I'm only 16! Yeah!


	5. Is She Stalking Me?

Hopefully…I can get a chapter for this story and Study Buddies! done today. I should, otherwise my sister will not be getting the things I buy her when I go to Wal-Mart.

On to the story!

Don't Own. What made you think that?

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Is She Stalking Me?

Hitsugaya yawned as he left Orihime's apartment. He was leaving early than usual so he could go and buy those memory replacement things. They really needed them. That woman was absolutely crazy.

Little did he know that someone was following him, determined to catch any suspicious behavior on his part and report it to the police.

He arrived at Urahara' shop in few minutes. He went in and his stalker hid behind a lamp post.

_Urahara Shoten? Never heard of it? Perhaps it is a black market shop? Perhaps he is making purchases for…guns, explosives, and the like. _Eleanor pulled out a little notebook, quite like the ones you see cops have on TV. _So glad I have a notebook today. Let's see. 7:15 am, Hitsugaya bm store. _(AN: I don't know what time they go to school in Japan, so I gonna use the time I go to school, which is 7:30 am. And she's gonna be writing in shorthand, that I've made up.)

--Inside the Shop--

"Do you really need this many?" asked Urahara from behind his fan.

"Yes," said Hitsugaya.

"Why?"

"Because of Orihime's aunt. That woman is not of her mind. She thinks I am a gang leader."

"A gang leader?"

"Yes."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Well, it's true."

"So, you're getting those memory things for that psycho aunt," said Renji as he emerged from his room.

"Yeah."

"So, there really is a psycho aunt," said Urahara.

"Yes."

"Well, you two had best be going to school."

"Yeah, yeah," said Renji as the two left the shop.

--Back Outside--

"So, when do you think we should use them on the aunt?" asked Renji.

"As soon as possible," said Hitsugaya.

Eleanor peered out from behind the pole. _The red head, Renji, was it? Why was he in there? Were they meeting to discuss the number of weapons to buy? Is he their weapon expert? That's got to be it. Need to write this down. Let's see. Renji, weap. ex. But who is the aunt? And what are they going to use? Wait…I'm the aunt. They're going to off me because I've heard too much. Oh my God, Oh my God! What to do, what to do? I should keep following them._

Eleanor started her way down the street, hiding behind everything she could, so as not to be seen by the two she was tailing.

As they neared the school, Hitsugaya turned to look behind them. He could have sworn he saw a flash of movement in the direction of a trash can, but he couldn't sense anything.

"Eh, what is it?" asked Renji.

"I've had this feeling that we're being followed by something. But…never mind, it's probably nothing."

The two entered the school grounds.

--Back to Eleanor--

_7:20 am, went in school. _"Great, now what am I going to do for eight hours?" _I suppose I could go shopping. But…no! I must not leave in case they leave in the middle of school. But…there are some shops here so…I suppose it wouldn't hurt to do a little shopping._

--Eight Hours Later--

Eleanor is sitting at a little café, with a newspaper in front of her, like how you see undercover cops on TV, complete with sunglasses. She carefully peeks around the newspaper.

_No sign of any of them. They should be leaving, the bell rang. Unless…I missed them. No, that would be impossible. I could see them out of the corner of my eye. Ah, there's one of them now, the orange haired one, Ichigo, I believe it was. Perhaps I should follow them. No…why did I think that. Hitsugaya is the leader, I must follow him. _

She saw Ikkaku and Yumichika come out with Asano. _Another gang member, perhaps. _She then sees Rukia run after Ichigo. Then Renji, heading off in the direction she followed him to school. She then sees Matsumoto and Hitsugaya. The two are standing there, talking about something. _Damn, I wish I could hear what they are saying, or read their lips. _

Hitsugaya's looking at a cell phone. He looks at Matsumoto, then the two run off. _What, damn it, why must they run! _Eleanor quickly got up, threw the newspaper away, and ran in the direction of the duo.

--The Park-- (AN: The same one where Hitsugaya was attacked earlier.)

Eleanor saw the two stop running. _About time. _She quickly ducked behind a large tree, convenient for such use.

Hitsugaya and Matsumoto pulled out some Soul Candy and put it in their mouths. _What's that? Is it drugs? Ecstasy? Or is it that new drug, bricks…or whatever their called? Or are they popping pills?_

"Stay here," the two said to their gigais. All Eleanor saw was the two gigais nodding their heads. _Why are they nodding their heads? Maybe it's the effects of the drugs? Need to write that down as well. Hits &Matsu, take pills 2:45pm._

_Well, I suppose I should listen in to their conversation. _Seeing as that the two had sat down.

"So, how long do you think we have to wait for them to return, pyon?" asked Matsumoto's gigai. (AN: I'm just guessing that Matsumoto has Chappy too.)

"Not that long, they should be able to take care of the hollow pretty quickly," stated Hitsugaya's gigai.

_Who to return? And they're fighting that gang, the hollows. But wait…I didn't see anyone else here. Maybe it's the drugs._

The two sat there in silence for awhile until Hitsugaya and Matsumoto reappeared in about ten minutes.

"See, it didn't take that long," said "Hitsugaya," looking in the direction of the two shinigami.

"Eh, you're right, pyon," said "Matsumoto."

_Whose coming? I don't see anyone. _Hitsugaya and Matsumoto re-entered their gigais.

"That was really easy," said Matsumoto.

"Yeah," agreed Hitsugaya.

Eleanor was continuing to move her body around the tree to see who was coming. She lost her balance and fell with a loud thud.

The two turned to stare at her.

"Eh, heh, heh…" Eleanor quickly got up and ran off in the opposite direction of the shinigami.

"What the hell…" stated Matsumoto.

"Damn it, I knew I was being followed," said Hitsugaya.

"When did you think this?"

"When I left the apartment this morning, I thought I was being followed. And when Renji and I arrived at school, I turned to look and a saw movement out of the corner of my eye. It had to be her. And she followed us here as well."

"Why would she stalk you?"

"Probably to see if she could get any 'gang' related info on me so she could report it to the police."

"Ah."

"Come on, let's go erase her memories."

"Yeah. Hopefully Orihime won't stop us."

"Come on, Orihime must know her aunt is crazy."

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Tis done! Does Orihime know her aunt is a crazie? No. See the efforts of Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, and the rest of the shinigami crew try and explain to Orihime why Eleanor's memories need to be erased.

Also, thanks to all who reviewed.

Ah, I noticed some mistakes, so I replaced it. Sorry if you saw them. Stupid Microsoft Word.


	6. Cheap Ripoff of Flashy Thing

Man…I can't think of anything to say. So on to the story!

Kubo Tite owns, not me.

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Cheap Rip Off of Flashy Thing

"So, The Aunt followed you yesterday. What the hell is her problem!" exclaimed Rukia.

"That's what I would like to know," said Hitsugaya. "Right now, all we need to do is find her and erase her memory."

"That's for sure," said Matsumoto. "She's heard way too much about Soul Society, not to mention…it might do her some good. I mean, where the hell do you get us being in a gang. Cause the only ones of us who look the part are you three," she said, gesturing at Ichigo, Renji, and Ikkaku.

"What's that suppose to mean," said Ikkaku.

"What do you think it means," Matsumoto retorted, rolling her eyes.

"Eh…"

"What about Orihime?" asked Ichigo.

"Hey, don't interrupt me," said Ikkaku. He was ignored.

"What about her?" asked Renji.

"What if she won't let us erase her aunt's memory cause she doesn't know she's a psycho?"

"Oh, she has to know, it's hard not to."

"But this is Orihime we're talking about. She's…kinda weird sometimes."

"Can we stop debating it and just go and erase the aunt's memory," snapped Hitsugaya.

"Okay," the two said. And so the group set off to erase the aunt's memory.

--Orihime's Place--

Orihime heard the door slam. "Hm…" she said as she looked up from her homework.

"Oh, thank goodness your hear Orihime!" exclaimed Eleanor as she rushed to Orihime's side.

"What's the matter?"

"Oh dear, I'm afraid to have to break this to you, but your so-called friends are gang members."

"Wha..?"

"You know, Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, Ichigo, Renji…and those others the hang out with….are in a gang. And I believe they are trying to get you involved."

"Auntie, I don't think Kurosaki-kun or the others are involved in gang activity."

"Whose Kurosaki?"

"That's Ichigo."

"Ah, I see." She wrote that down in her notebook.

"What's the notebook for?"

"It's to record all the gang activity I see. See, have a look. This morning, Hitsugaya and Renji were at a black market store."

"How do you know it was a black market?"

"Cause it looked a little shifty, not to mention I've never heard of it."

"What's it called?"

"Urahara Shoten, or something along those lines."

"Ah, Urahara-san isn't in the black market."

"Wait…you know this store."

"Of course I do."

"Oh no, it's what I feared, your in that gang to, aren't you?"

"N-no. I've just been to the store before with Kurosaki-kun and the others before."

"And that means you're in the gang too!"

"Auntie…"

"Get back, you devil child. And to think, this is the thanks I get for helping keep you off the streets."

"Auntie…"

They two heard the door open, followed by the other's voices.

"Oh no, they've come to do that thing they said they were going to use on me!"

"What thing?"

"Don't play innocent. You were in on it too, you must be…you're in their gang!"

"But I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You lie…you lie…"

"Auntie…"

Eleanor ran from the room to her room and locked the door. Orihime just stared at the place she used to be.

"Eh, Inoue, what's the matter?" asked Ichigo.

"Auntie Eleanor was acting strange."

"How so?" asked Hitsugaya.

"Well, first she came in here saying you were all in a gang. Then she tried to prove with info in a notebook she had…"

"Wait, she has a notebook with information on us?" asked Rukia.

"Mmhm."

"What kind of information?"

"I don't know what all it says. She only got to the part were she wrote that she saw Hitsugaya-kun and Renji-kun at Urahara's. She thought it was a black market store."

"Technically, it is."

"Then what happened?" prodded Matsumoto.

"Well, I said that I had been there and she started going into how I was involved in the 'gang' since I have been to Urahara's. Then she mentioned something about you doing something to her. Then she ran into her room."

"Us doing what to her?"

"I don't know. She just said that they were going to do what they said they were going to do."

"But who said what and do what?"

"I think," said Hitsugaya, " that she might be referring to what me and Renji said this morning. About using the memory replacement on her."

"Replace her memory? Why would you want to do that?" asked Orihime.

"Because, she's over heard too much about Soul Society and Aizen. We can't have her accidentally tell the police because she thinks it's 'gang activity.'"

"I'm sure if we just explain it to her, she wouldn't tell. And it would get rid of the whole notion of us being a gang."

"Orihime, your aunt is a crazy bitch," said Ikkaku.

"No, she isn't."

"Orihime," said Hitsugaya. "What normal person accuses people she barely knows of being in a gang? What sane person decides to stalk one of the people she thinks is in a gang? And what normal person accuses their own relative of being in a gang?"

"Ah, she must…be a little excited, that's all."

"Inoue, don't fool yourself. Your aunt is crazy," said Ichigo.

"Besides," said Yumichika, "It's not like the memory replacement will alter her completely. It will just get rid of what she has over heard and her thoughts on us being a gang. Though I don't know how anyone could accuse someone as beautiful as me as being in a gang."

"I don't know. It doesn't seem right. And how do you know it's going to work. I didn't work on me."

"I…wait, you've had memory replacement used on you? When?" asked Matsumoto.

"We used it on her when her brother, who had become a hollow, attacked her and Tatsuki," said Rukia.

"Ah, I see. And it didn't work?"

"No, I remembered it all clearly, and so did Tatsuki."

"I wonder why that's so?"

"Probably because Ichigo's reiatsu was already affecting Orihime and Tatsuki," said Hitsugaya.

"Why did you include Tatsuki?" asked Ichigo.

"Because, that girl's reiatsu is higher than most humans."

"It is?"

"Yes, it is. Now, back to erasing the aunt's memory. It will work on her, her reiatsu isn't strong enough to resist it."

"But…I don't know. She is my aunt."

"An aunt who will report you to the police."

"I don't think I can convince you otherwise," said Orihime softly.

"No," all the shinigami said. (AN: That includes Ichigo if you can't figure it out, cause in all sense, he is one, being a representative, and half-shinigami to start with.)

"Fine. You can, but she locked the door. It locks from the inside."

"Then we'll bust it down!" exclaimed Ikkaku.

"No," said Matsumoto. "It's Orihime's door. I don't think she'll appreciate you knocking it down."

"Damn."

"We could always pick the lock," suggested Renji.

"It's times like these that I wish Ishida was around," said Ichigo.

"Yeah."

"Well, he's not here, so we're going to have to figure out a way to do it ourselves," said Hitsugaya. "Orihime, maybe you should go and ask her to come out."

"I don't know if that will work."

"We have to try it."

--At Eleanor's Door--

"Auntie Eleanor, can you come out so we can talk?" Orihime asked as she knocked gently on the door.

"I don't know. Are those others gone?" came Eleanor's voice, muffled by the wood.

"…yes."

"LIAR! You hesitated, that means they're still here."

"Well…we all want to talk with you. We want you to help us…return to a normal life, one without being in a gang."

"LIAR! Your just saying that so I will come out so you can off me. I'm never coming out! NEVER!"

They could hear her moving away from the door.

"I told you it wouldn't work."

"Well, now what?" asked Rukia.

"We pick the lock," stated Hitsugaya bluntly.

"Here's a needle," said Orihime, handing over the needle to Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya placed the needle into the hole in the door knob. He twisted and turned it and then…SNAP, the needle broke.

"Dammit. What else can we use?"

"How bout a knife," stated Matsumoto.

"A knife?"

"It works." (AN: It does, I do it a lot.)

"I'll get it," said Yumichika.

Yumichika came back with the knife and handed it to Matsumoto. Matsumoto placed it in the hole in door knob and turned it to the left. There was a soft click.

"Tada, told you it would work."

"Why didn't it take you forever," asked Renji. "Cause it took Ishida a couple a minutes to do it when he did it."

"Well, I used a knife. Secondly, that's a screw, so the whole 'leftie loose, righty tighty' thing applies."

"Ah."

"Whose going to go in there?" asked Ikkaku.

"You can," said Hitsugaya.

"ME! No way, she's crazy."

"What would Kenpachi say?"

"Well, he's not here, so it doesn't matter."

"I think Orihime should go in, it is her aunt after all," said Renji.

"Yeah…wait, where'd she go?" asked Rukia. The place where Orihime had formerly been was empty.

"Who cares? I think taichou should go in, cause she probably still thinks you're 'adorable,'" said Matsumoto, gently pushing Hitsugaya into Eleanor's room.

"If she finds me adorable, as you say, then why does she think I'm a gang leader," said Hitsugaya as he braced his legs to stop Matsumoto from pushing him into the room.

"Just go in," said Matsumoto, giving a hard push to Hitsugaya's back, causing him to enter the lair…room of Eleanor.

"Eleanor," Hitsugaya said softly as he approached her huddled and covered form on the bed with extreme caution. "We need to speak with you."

No response.

He turned back to the others. They were gone. _Damn them all. _He continued his approach to the bed. _Why isn't she moving? Did she kill herself? No, I don't think so. _He finally reached the bed.

"Eleanor," he said as he pulled out the memory replacement thing.

Then, all of a sudden, the sheets that covered Eleanor where thrown to the floor and she leapt up into a standing position. In her right hand she held a gleaming, pointy, ten inch long kitchen knife.

Hitsugaya stare up in disbelief. _Where the hell did she get the kitchen knife?_ He stumbled backwards, trying to get away from her, in case she did anything stupid.

Eleanor swung the blade down into Hitsugaya's left shoulder blade. She pulled it out and went for the right. Hitsugaya fell to his knees, still looking at her, and tried to get up. She jumped from the bed and stab him in the stomach, once, twice.

Hitsugaya's hands went to his stomach as the blood oozed out of his gigai. _Dammit. _Eleanor swung the blade one more time, down the left side of his face. She then gathered up the sheets and wiped the blood off. She quickly fled the room, ran past the shinigami and out the front door.

Hitsugaya doubled up and saw his blood forming a pool around him. _Dammit it. _

Matsumoto appeared at the door. She had sensed something wasn't right when Eleanor had dashed out of the apartment. She wasn't sure, but she thought she had seen a knife in the woman's hand.

"T-taichou!"

"Mat-Matsumoto…" Hitsugaya managed to get out before he passed out.

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Gah, I'm so cruel to Hitsugaya. Having him get stabbed by Eleanor. Don't kill me or flame me. I feel guilty enough by myself.

Well, this has taken a turn for the worse. Not much humor in this one, is there. But, yeah, this kinda needed to happen for the plot, at least, to me it did. To you, that's another story. Next time, we ish gonna have them file a police report over the stabbing. Woohoo, time for stupid cops!

By the way, this is still just week one of her visit.

Can anyone guess what the title is based off of?


	7. In Which Cops Show Stupidity

Don't own.

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In Which Cops Show Stupidity

Hitsugaya opened his eyes slowly. He could see the ceiling. He slowly lifted himself up and then stopped when he felt pain in his stomach. He clutched his stomach with his hands.

_That's right. Orihime's aunt attacked me._

"Ah, taichou, you're awake," said Matsumoto as she entered the room.

"How long have I been out?"

"About an hour."

"Do we know where Orihime's aunt is?"

"No, but Ikkaku, Renji, Yumichika, and Ichigo are looking for her."

"What's Rukia doing?"

"Watching Orihime."

"Why?"

"She passed out when she saw all the blood around you, then again after we told her that it was her aunt who did it. That's why you still feel pain; Rukia can only do so much with the spells she knows."

"So, what are we going to do?"

"Well, Ichigo said we should tell the police about the attack and that they would also look for her."

"Have we?"

"No…"

"What! Why not?"

"Cause we need you to prove what we're saying. So change and we'll go and tell the police."

"Fine."

--Thirty Minutes Later--

"It's not very big," commented Matsumoto on entering the police station.

"Whatever, we need to find someone to report to," said Hitsugaya looking around.

As soon as he said that, a police officer stepped up to them. "Can I help you with something?" he asked noticing the bandage on the side of Hitsugaya's face.

"We need to report a crime," said Matsumoto.

"I see, why don't you follow me into my office," the cop said, gesturing to a room to the right.

"Okay."

So the trio entered the room. Hitsugaya found it to be a strange room for an office. There was a single table in the middle, looked to be steal. There were a total of four chairs, two on each side. And there was a really strange mirror on one side. (AN: I've watched way too much CSI.)

"Have a seat," he said gesturing to the chairs facing the mirror. Matsumoto and Hitsugaya sat down. "Now, if you'll excuse me a moment, I need to call my…partner."

So the cop left the room, leaving the two in the room. A feeling of unease and of being watched crept upon the two.

"This is a really strange office," commented Matsumoto.

"Somehow, I doubt this is actually an office."

"Well, what do you think it is then?"

"I think…." Hitsugaya stopped as he saw the door open and re-enter the room.

"I'm Officer Tez," he said as he sat down in one of the chairs facing them. "So,

what are your names?"

"Matsumoto Rangiku."

"Hitsugaya Toshiro."

"And what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, me and Hitsugaya are staying with a friend of ours."

"What's this friend's name?"

"Inoue Orihime."

"Continue," Officer Tez said as he wrote down notes in a little notebook.

"Anyways, recently Orihime's aunt came to visit her. At first, it was fine. She

was…normal, I guess you could say. Then a few days ago, she started to believe

Hitsugaya and I were in a gang and he was the gang leader."

"And you're not, are you?"

"That's right."

"So, what led her to believe this?"

"Well, I call Hitsugaya 'taichou'…"

"Why do you call him that?"

"It's a game we play. We told her that, but then after Hitsugaya had injuries on his back, she started to go…"

"How did he get injuries on his back?"

"Um…I…don't know."

"Really now? Continue."

"Where was I…oh yes, I was taking care of his wounds and she started going on about how we where in a gang and he was the leader. And then when we had friends over, she listened in on the conversation, probably thinking she could get some 'gang' related activity. And today, she followed Hitsugaya around. So, when we got home, we found out that she had accused Orihime of being in a gang as well. We then….decided to talk to her, but we had to pick the lock on her bedroom door. After we did that, Hitsugaya went in to talk with her and we…went back to doing ….homework. next thing we know, she's running out of the apartment. And I think I saw a knife on her."

"Who are the people you keep referring to?"

"Abarai Renji, Madarame Ikkaku, Ayasegawa Yumichika, Kuchiki Rukia and Kurosaki Ichigo."

"Right, continue, Matsumoto-san."

"So, I went into the room and saw Hitsugaya in a pool of blood."

"A pool of blood?"

"Yes, she slashed him across the face, in both shoulder blades and in the stomach twice."

"I see…" Officer Tez said, the hint of suspicion in his voice not noticed by Matsumoto. "Then what?"

"Then I took him into the bathroom to take care of his injuries. He was unconscious from the blood lost. Then I sent the others, save Rukia, to look for Eleanor."

"Eleanor is Orihime's aunt?"

"Yes."

"And why didn't Rukia join in the search?"

"Orihime had fainted at the sight of all the blood and then again at finding out that it was her aunt who did it."

"I see."

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," said Officer Tez.

In stepped a lady, middle aged, very prim and proper in a business suit.

"Ah, Hitsugaya-kun, would you mind accompanying my…partner."

"Why?"

"To make sure you are all right."

"But…"

"Hitsugaya, just go," said Matsumoto.

"Fine," said Hitsugaya as he stood up and followed the lady out the door.

--Hitsugaya--

"Hello, Toshiro-kun," said the lady, trying to sound friendly, "I am Kamio Yumiko. Now then, why don't you tell me how you came to be in this condition?"

"Why don't you just ask your partner? He asked Matsumoto."

"Yes, but…I would like to hear it in your own words."

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He had a bad feeling about this whole thing.

"Fine."

"And start from the very beginning."

"Matsumoto and I have been staying with Orihime for about a month. A short while back, Orihime received a call from her aunt, Eleanor. The aunt came on Sunday. And she was really annoying; she kept going on how 'cute and adorable' I was."

"You've never been called 'cute' or 'adorable' before?"

"Of course, when I was younger. But most people don't nowadays."

"I see. Continue."

"But then, she changed. It was the day I had came home with scars on my back."

"Scars? How did you obtain them?"

"I…don't remember."

"I see. Continue."

_That's starting to get annoying. Can't they say something else? _"She asked me how I got my injuries; I didn't want to explain cause I wanted to get them treated. But she wouldn't drop and then started going on about 'deviant children' and I passed out. When I came to, Matsumoto was treating my wounds."

"May I see them?"

"Uh…why?"

"To confirm your story, not that I don't believe you."

"Okay then." Hitsugaya lifted his shirt up a bit as Yumiko went around back to see the wounds.

"Ouch, those look like they hurt."

"They did," said Hitsugaya, rolling his eyes.

"You can put your shirt down now." Hitsugaya did so. "Please continue."

"Then Eleanor came in and started saying that I was a gang leader and Matsumoto was in my gang. The next day, our…friends came over because they wanted to see the aunt. We talked awhile and Ikkaku was hungry and went into the kitchen, where he saw her listening to our conversation. She ran off after seeing him."

"And what was your conversation about that she would be listening so intently?"

"…Nothing important."

"It must have been for her to be eavesdropping. Now why don't you tell me what it was about?"

"Like I said, it was nothing important. Eleanor is crazy, probably thought she could get any 'gang' information from it."

"If you say so. Continue."

"So today, I went to a store before going to school. Renji happened to be there so we walked to school together. I had the feeling that I was being followed so I turned around and say movement near a trash can. Then after school, me and Matsumoto went to the park. While we were…talking, Eleanor fell to the ground then ran off after we saw her. When we got back to Orihime's place, we decided to talk to her, but the door was locked. Matsumoto picked the lock, and then pushed me in there to talk with her…"

"Why would she do that?"

"She thought I would have the best success at convincing the aunt that we weren't in a gang."

"I see. Continue."

A vein in Hitsugaya's forehead throbbed momentarily. _She has no originality. _"I approached the bed where she was huddled up. As soon as I reached the bed, she sprang up and started to attack me with a knife. She wiped the blood off and ran out the door. Matsumoto came and I passed out. When I woke up, my wounds were bandaged and there was a search party for Eleanor. Matsumoto and I walked here from Orihime's place."

"Why didn't you call the police?"

"Orihime's not good with technology. She broke her phone."

"Really now?"

"Yes, really."

"Where you injured any other time that 'Eleanor' was there?"

_I don't like the way she said Eleanor. Something isn't right here. _"…Yes. I was cutting vegetables are Eleanor bumped into me, causing the knife to slice my left arm."

"And did Matsumoto take care of your injuries?"

"…Yes." _I don't like where this is heading._

"How long have you known Matsumoto?"

"A long time."

"How long is a long time?"

"Really long."

"How does she treat you?"

"Wha… where are you going with this?" asked Hitsugaya suspiciously.

"Just answer the question."

"She treats me…like…I don't know."

"Does she treat you like a little kid?"

"Sometimes."

"And the rest of the time?"

"I don't know."

"Does she abuse you, physically, mentally, emotionally…sexually?"

"WHAT! What the hell are you talking about!"

"Toshiro-kun, answer the question."

"NO. Who do you work for? Because these don't seem like question police normally ask."

"Police do ask them when a child has been abused by their mother."

"Mother! Matsumoto isn't my mom!" exclaimed Hitsugaya in disbelief. _How can anyone think Matsumoto is my mother!_

"Do you feel that way because she mistreats you?"

"No."

--Matsumoto--

"Was it really necessary for Hitsugaya to be taken away?"

"Ah, yes."

"I don't see why."

"It's not important for you to understand. Now, let's continue shall we. How long have you known Hitsugaya-kun?"

"For awhile now."

"Can you be more specific?"

"No."

"I see. Have you had any behavioral problems with him?"

"Not really. It's more liked 'Does he have behavioral problems with me?'"

"How so?"

"I don't want to do work, so he's always getting on my case about that. And he doesn't like it when I drink."

"You drink? What do you drink?"

"Sake, of course."

"Do you get violent when you drink?"

"No."

"Do you get violent at all?"

"Sometimes, when I have to."

"And when do you have to?"

"I …don't know."

"Are the times when you are violent directed at Hitsugaya?"

"No… Just where are you going with this?"

"Ah, sorry, sorry, just standard procedure when we have young children hurt."

"Are you serious?" Matsumoto asked with and incredulous look.

"Yes."

Another knock and someone came in with a note.

"From Kamio-san."

"Ah, thank you."

"Kamio? That's the lady with Hitsugaya?"

"Yes." Tez read the note, which read as following: _I believe this "Eleanor" they keep referring to is actually Matsumoto-san's split personality. This woman is not fit to be a mother. She 'conveniently' shows up and takes care of Toshiro-kun's wounds. I'm going to place Hitsugaya into protective custody. _

"Interesting. We both thought the same thing."

"Thought what?" asked Matsumoto, completely clueless.

"That you are a liar."

"WHAT! I didn't lie!"

"If you didn't lie, why are you getting angry? I've interrogated many people, Matsumoto-san."

"Interrogated!"

"Yes, from the moment I laid eyes on you and young Toshiro, I had the feeling that you were the reason behind his wounds."

"That's absurd! I wouldn't hurt him! I haven't hinted that I would!"

"Actually, you have."

"When did I do this!"

"Just earlier, when you said that you get violent sometimes."

"I wasn't saying that."

"Perception is reality, my dear. What I perceive to be true, is true. Not to mention, the other things that hint at you being the one who injured him."

"Such as?" asked Matsumoto, trying to keep her angry in check. _This is absolutely crazy. How can he possibly think that?  
_"You hesitated when giving your statement, which led me to believe that you were lying. And the fact that you refer to him as Hitsugaya, instead of Toshiro. That's no way to talk to your son."

"Son?" repeated Matsumoto stupidly. "Hitsugaya isn't my son."

"I'm sure he isn't," said Officer Tez, not believing a single word Matsumoto was saying. "Also, you two have different last names. Did you have him out of wedlock?"

"I TOLD YOU…"she broke off, trying to get her angry back under control, she didn't want to dig herself any deeper. "I told you, Hitsugaya isn't my son."

"Are you ashamed of having him as your son? Is that why you won't let him take your last name? Why didn't you marry the father?"

"He's not my son!"

"That's what they all say. Now then," the door opened and an officer came in. "Officer Whi shall read you your rights."

"You're arresting me!"

"Yes ma'am, child abuse is a serious offense."

"But…."

Officer Tez took Matsumoto's arms and put them behind her back. He handcuffs her as he says, "You have the right to remain silent, and anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…." (AN: I don't know if they have the Miranda rights in Japan. But…they do now.)

Officer Tez practically dragged Matsumoto from the interrogation room.

"I didn't do it!" she screamed.

"That's what they always say."

"But I didn't …"

"Matsumoto!" exclaimed Hitsugaya on seeing his fukutaichou being dragged out of the room in handcuffs. He made a start for her. A hand reached out and grabbed hold of his shoulder.

"Hey, let me go," he snapped as he turned to see who had grabbed hold of him. "What are you doing?" he asked when he saw it was Yumiko.

"It's for the best."

"What's for the best?"

"Your mother being arrested."

"Like I've said before, she isn't my mother. Now let go," said Hitsugaya as he struggled to get free.

"No." The grip tightened.

Hitsugaya watched as Matsumoto was dragged outside and placed in a police car.

"Now then, I think we should introduce you to your foster family."

"Foster family?"

"Yes. Some one has to look after you, in case she should get out on bail and come after you."

Hitsugaya just stared at the woman.

"Now then, these are your foster parents…" Hitsugaya stopped listening. _There is no way this can be happening. Why me? Why always me?_

"Aren't you just the sweetest thing," the woman said, bending down to be on his level….and pinching his cheeks.

Hitsugaya backed away from her. Then he turned around and ran out of the station.

"Hey!"

Hitsugaya could hear them chasing after him. He ran faster, and then ducked behind a tree. The passed him by. He sank down onto the ground.

"Damn. What am I to do?"

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Interesting turn of events, ne? Again, I don't think there is much humor in this, just bits and pieces.

What is life like in prison? My sister wants to be in prison with Matsumoto, should I let her? What will Hitsugaya do? What will Eleanor do?

Gah! I wanted to put this up yesterday, but I couldn't upload. was being mean to me.


	8. Foster Family, Jail Time, and PI's

It's almost five in the morning as I write this author's note. My grandpa is awake and I don't want him to see me, so I shall stay in my sister's room (where the computer is) and type this.

Don't own.

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Foster Family, Jail Time, and Private Investigators

She walked the streets of Karakura, looking for a place to stay. She couldn't go back to Orihime's. It would be nice, but no, Orihime was in a gang and would retaliate for what she had done to her leader, Hitsugaya.

Eleanor sighed. She had been running, more like walking, for the past three hours. She needed to find a place to rest. She wasn't in the shape she was as a girl.

_What to do? I have to think of something. I need a place to stay. And…I need a plan to get Orihime out of that gang. What to do?_

As chance would have it, Eleanor looked up and saw a sign that read as thus: Ottawa Yamizeki, Private Investigator.

_This may just be my lucky day._

--Matsumoto--

_This sucks. I am in jail for no god damn reason. Beating my child up? _Hitsugaya_ my child? What are these people on? I don't see how we resemble each other, at all. _

"Hey, what'cha in for?" a voice said from the darkest corner of the cell.

"Eep!" Matsumoto yelped. She hadn't known anyone else was in here.

A young lady emerged from the shadows in that lovely orange jumpsuit provided by the police. (AN: I don't know if they're orange in Japan, they are in America.)

"Ya okay?"

"Y-yes. I didn't know anyone else was in here."

"I ain't to sociable. So, what'cha in for?"

"Supposedly for beating my 'son'."

"S'pposedly? Why ya say that?"

"Cause he isn't my son. He's a…friend. And I told the truth when I said that Orihime's aunt was the one who stabbed him."

"I see."

"And why are you in here?"

"Cause murder an' torture an' all that jazz. Waitin' for the court ta accept my trial fo' insanity." (AN: This is my sister. South equals hick to everyone else but Southerners, so, she sound like hick.)

Matsumoto stared at her. "I…see."

--Hitsugaya--

Hitsugaya had long abandoned his hiding place behind the tree. _Hopefully they have stopped looking for me_, he thought as he tried to call Renji…for the third time.

And once again, the same result. He couldn't reach any of them. They had to get Matsumoto out of jail and erase Eleanor's memory. _Dammit, today is just not my day._

He looked at the time on the watch. 5:39 PM. He started to turn towards Orihime's house. _Perhaps they've returned there, not to mention, Orihime is there._

Just as he stepped out of the park he had taken refuge in, he heard the voice of the woman who pinched his cheeks earlier.

"There you are. We've been looking everywhere for you," she said as her husband latched his hands onto Hitsugaya's shoulders. "You shouldn't run away. It's very bad. What if some pedophile or thug came and hurt you?" she said as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"B-but, Matsumoto didn't do this to me. I don't need a foster family."

"Now, now, dear. I know this must be very traumatizing for you, seeing your mother get arrested and finally finding some one to actually care for you. Oh my, look at the time. We need to be getting you home so we can feed you. And it looks like you need it, you're really skinny."

"B-but…"

--Eleanor--

"So, you want me to follow this kid, Hitsugaya Toshiro, was it?"

Eleanor nodded.

"And report any gang activity?"

"Yes. And don't forget the others."

"Right, the orange-haired Ichigo, the red head Renji, Matsumoto Rangiku, Inoue Orihime, and a bald one and a guy with feathers near his eyes. Don't you know their names?"

"No, I didn't over hear those two's names. Nor did I overhear Renji's or Ichigo's last names. I'm sorry, that's the best I can do. But, they seem to do things together, so it shouldn't be too hard."

"Okay, lady. And where will you be?"

"Ah, I don't have a place to stay. I was staying with my niece, Orihime, one of the gang members, but I left. I just didn't feel safe there any more."

"I see. Well…you could stay at my place, if you want."

"Oh my, aren't you quite the gentleman? I'll take you up on your offer."

"Right. So…" Yamizeki stood up and offered Eleanor his arm. "How about I take you there now?"

"Okay," said Eleanor as she stood up and accepted his arm. (AN: Do you smell that? Love is in the air.)

--Matsumoto--

Matsumoto heard the jangle of many keys hitting one another. She looked quizzically at the girl.

"'S them comin' wit the food. By teh way, what you name?"

"Matsumoto Rangiku."

"Nice ta meet ya, Rangiku. My name's Akumu Rien."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"Well, well. A murderer and a child abuser in the same cell. And both cutie pies at that," said the overweight, mustachioed and bearded pig of a man who was the guard.

"Eh, 's you. Ya off your suspension fo' sleepin' wit dat lil' woman?"

"Yes, I'm off my suspension, Rien. But I didn't know there were such vile rumors going around while I was gone."

"Ain't rumors. 's the truth. An' you know it."

He slammed his beer gut into the cell and tried to stick his hand through the bars. He was too fat. So he stuck his face in between the bars and looked like a fat Jack Nicholson. "You shut your mouth, you stupid bitch!"

"My, my. Ya got anger issues. Perhaps ya should go see my psychiatrist, she real good at fixin' things. At least, fo' other people she is."

"Why you….!"

"Hey, piggy," said Matsumoto. "Can we please have our food?"

"Why you…!"

"Yeah, PIGGY," said Rien, "Can we please have our food?"

"Why…"

"Is there something wrong?" said a calm, cool, and collected voice.

"Why no sir, mister warden, sir," the guard said in a flustered tone as he turned away from the cell.

"Then why is it that these…criminals," he said this with a wrinkling of his nose, as if it were such a common word, "do not have their food."

"I…I was just about to give it to them."

"Good," and with that, the warden walked away.

"You two are lucky the warden came by," fatso said as he opened the cell door and placed the tray with their food on the floor. "Otherwise I would have taken care of you two broads."

"Yeah, yeah, whateve' you say….PIGGY!" Rien exclaimed; she had found a new favorite word.

He just glared at them as he left the cell and returned to his station where he could watch porn…I mean, the prisoners.

--Hitsugaya--

Hitsugaya could not believe it. He was in some strange person's house, all for the fact that the law enforcement in the living world believed that he was the child of his fukutaichou and she was abusing him. Humans are stupid, end of story.

"Toshiro, you haven't touched your food, are you all right?" said Nanako, leaning over and placing a hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever."

"I'm just not hungry."

"I don't believe that. Eat your food, otherwise you're not leaving this table."

Hitsugaya stared at the woman in disbelief. Was she really threatening him with that? It was so…childish.

Hitsugaya ate the food. It tasted a lot better than the stuff Orihime made, that was for sure.

"Good boy," praised Nanako. _What am I? A dog?_

"Now, go get ready for bed."

"But, it's not that late."

"Yes, it is, for young boys like you."

"It's only…" Hitsugaya turned to look at the clock behind him. "…6:45 PM! That's not very late at all."

"Well, we are going to be good parents, unlike your mother. And young children need plenty of sleep."

Hitsugaya stared at her.

"Now! Go get ready for bed! And that means a shower, too."

Hitsugaya got up slowly, still in shock that someone was taking that sort of tone with him, a captain of the Gotei 13. Unbelievable.

-------

Hitsugaya sighed as he got out of the shower. It had hurt like hell to have the water hitting his scars. He shook his head and sprayed water everywhere. He grabbed a towel, dried himself off and walked out of the bathroom to his new room.

"Toshiro!" exclaimed Nanako. "You should change in the bathroom. What if we had….why are you so buff?"

Hitsugaya was thrown off by the sudden change of conversation.

"Um…I work out," he said with a look the clearly read, 'that-is-the-most-obvious-thing-in-the-world.'

"Yes, but…why?"

"I…lived…in a rough area where you have to look out for yourself."

"But…you're just a little boy!"

She quickly ran to Hitsugaya and scooped him into her arms.

"Wha…"Hitsugaya exclaimed as she suddenly wrapped her arms. "Get off me!" He pushed against her with his hands, trying to get her off, to no avail.

"OH, you poor, poor thing. I promise I'll treat you better than that nasty old mom of yours. And you'll never, ever, EVER, have to fight again. I promise."

"C-could you please let go? I need to get dressed."

"Ah, of course." She quickly let go and Hitsugaya headed of for his room.

As soon as he entered, he flopped down on the bed. _What the hell am I going to do? How long do I have to stay here? Cause I don't doubt that the man will be staying up all night to make sure I don't run away. I suppose I should get dressed._

--Meanwhile--

"Now, Yuu, make sure you stay awake. Don't fall asleep at all. We don't want our little Toshiro to run off like he did this afternoon."

"Of course dear," said Yuu as he prepared himself with the things he would need to stay awake.

--Matsumoto--

"Um…I have a question, why don't the give us any kind of eating utensils?"

"Well, ya see. First teh had real forks an' such, but one day, a guard come in here an' want a little somethin-somethin, ya know what I mean, so…I tortured him wit the utensils. Man, dat was fun. Next, teh give me plastic ones, and da same guard came in here, for deh same reason, so…I tortured him. Den teh gave me chopsticks, he come back, so…tired of torturin' him….so….I stab him in teh eyes wit teh chopsticks. He blind now."

"I see. But…why didn't I get any?"

"Cause ya muh ROOMIE!" Rien exclaimed happily. "Any who, if deh give ya utensils, deh think I gonna steal them and us 'em."

"I see."

--With Renji & Co--

"Moshi, moshi," Renji said.

"It's about god damn time!" came Hitsugaya's voice from the other end.

"Hitsugaya! Where have you been? We've been looking for you and Matsumoto for the past couple of hours."

"And I've been trying to call one of you morons for the past couple of hours!"

"Hey, Renji, ask where is he?" said Ichigo.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know. Wherever my…foster parents…live."

"Foster parents?"

"Foster parents?" repeated Ichigo. "How the hell did that happen?"

"When you guys were out looking for Eleanor, me and Matsumoto went to the police station. The stupid cops thought Matsumoto was my…mother…"

"They thought Matsumoto was your mother! That is so hilarious," said Renji, breaking off into laughter.

Ichigo grabbed the phone. "Eh, Hitsugaya. I took the phone from the moron."

"Okay…well, the cops arrested Matsumoto cause they thought she was abusing me. Are all cops this stupid?"

"Probably."

"Then the police decide to put me into foster care for my 'safety.' And, it is absolutely horrible. The lady reminds me of Eleanor. She even pinched my cheeks!"

"Wow, how horrible. Do you know the exact location where they live? Why can't you leave? Why don't you leave?"

"Because…"

The sound of a door opening could be heard on Hitsugaya's side.

"Toshiro," a woman's voice said happily. "I've come… Is that a cell phone? What are you doing with a cell phone? Are you talking to someone? Who are you talking to? Give me that phone."

"No."

The sound of two bodies colliding.

"Give me that phone."

"No. It's my phone."

"Give it."

Sounds of a scuffle.

"Hitsugaya?" said Ichigo.

"No," Hitsugaya's voice said.

"Hah," said the woman's voice.

The sound of a flip phone closing. Then a busy signal.

"Hitsugaya? Dammit!"

"What happened?" asked Ikkaku.

"The cops thought Matsumoto was his mother, thought she was the one who hurt him, arrested him, and he's with foster parents now."

"They thought Matsumoto was his…mother." Ikkaku got out before he started to laugh at the very idea of Matsumoto being a mother.

Ichigo just stared at the four laughing shinigami.

_How are we gonna get Matsumoto out of jail? And rescue Hitsugaya? This sucks._

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Rien is my sister. That is one of her nicknames. Hm…interesting, isn't it?

Stayed tune to see what shall happen with our beloved 10th division shinigami and what Eleanor has up her sleeve.

By the way, I got a livejournal account yesterday, come say hi if you have one, my name is penguinsoul.


	9. ESCAPE!

I don't own Bleach.

Special Appearance as requested by Crazy Celestial Gal.

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ESCAPE!

Hitsugaya curled into the sheets. He couldn't sleep. This place just didn't feel right. And he wanted his phone back…it was his only connection to the others. _Damn that crazy lady._

He just knew that someone was down there, waiting in case he should try and run away. But…he could at least try and escape. There was no harm in that.

He crawled out of the sheets and gently tiptoed to the door. He opened it slowly, very slowly, so that the door wouldn't make a sound. When there was a gap wide enough for him to fit through, he exited the room.

Down the stairs he crept, looking all around to make sure the crazy lady didn't come out and freak out on him. He could see the glare of the television light coming from the living room, which was a room off from the hall he was in. he quickly passed by that room and tiptoed his way down the hall.

"Where do you think you're going, young man," a man's voice asked from the living room.

Hitsugaya froze. He had been caught. "Out."

"Out? I don't think so."

The man had walked to where Hitsugaya was standing and placed his hands on Hitsugaya's shoulders. He steered Hitsugaya into the living room and forced him into a vacant chair. The man took a seat in a chair surrounded by soda cans, chip bags and various other junk food trash.

"So, why are you trying to escape? Haven't we been nice to you?"

"Of course you have. I don't need a foster family. I'm taking care of myself."

"But that woman…wasn't she your mother."

"NO, she is not my mother. She's a…friend, you could say."

"So, she really isn't your mother."

"Of course not. We look nothing alike, so how could we possible be related."

"You could have resembled your father."  
Hitsugaya stared at the man.

"What?"

_Humans are stupid and crazy. I already knew this, so why did I come again?_

"Nothing. I'm just surprised at the stupidity of everyone."

"That's not nice. Little kids shouldn't say things like that."

Hitsugaya glared at the man. "I'm not nice."

"That's sad. Little children shouldn't be so cruel. I don't know where your generation is headed."

Hitsugaya continued to glare at the man. The temperature dropped by just the slightest, almost undetectable to any one other than Hitsugaya, seeing as he's the one who caused it.

"So…who really did beat you up?"

"This psycho aunt of a friend of mine."

"Really, how did it happen?"

"Why do you care?"

--Matsumoto--

Matsumoto sighed. Today had been…exciting, to say the least. First, Hitsugaya had been stabbed, then she was arrested, and now, she was in a cell with a crazy person. Fun.

Rien was busing staring off into space. Or, she had been, for when Matsumoto looked up, the girl was in her face.

"Wha," exclaimed Matsumoto as she started backwards.

"Did I surprise ya?"

"Of course you did! You don't just sneak up people like that."

"I didn't sneak up, ya weren't payin' attention."

"Same difference."

"If you say so. I'm goin' ta bed. Night!"

"Night," replied Matsumoto as she watched Rien bounce off to her bed.

She continued watching the girl until she could hear light snores. She turned away and stared at the wall.

_How am I going to get out of here? Aren't you supposed to get one phone call? At least, that's what they do in all those movies I've been watching. I wonder where Hitsugaya is. I wonder where that bitch Eleanor is. This is all her fault. And how the hell can the cops think he's my SON? That is just absurd._

Matsumoto sighed again.

"Well, ain't ya got yourself in a mess?" a familiar voice said.

"You," said Matsumoto as she turned around.

--The Others--

"So, basically, you want to storm in there and rescue Hitsugaya?" asked Ichigo in a tone that suggested that he thought this was the stupidest plan he ever heard.

You see, after the phone call, the shinigami decided to trace his reiatsu. After much difficulty, they tracked it down to two-story house.

"Yeah. It'll be easy," said Renji.

"Do you even know what time it is! Not to mention, if the people who live here catch us, we'll end up in jail like Matsumoto!"

"Then all we have to do is not get caught," said Ikkaku.

Ichigo just stared at them all. This was incredible stupid, and with the people he was with, it was doomed to fail.

The group made its way around the house, looking for some way to enter the house. By chance, a window was open. However, it was really small.

"Well then," said Rukia as she approached the window. "This looks to be the only way into the house! Let's go!"

"Wait, you want us to crawl through that tiny window," Yumichika questioned.

"Uh, yeah."

"But, I don't want to. I'll ruin my clothes."

"It's not like we have any other choice," said Ichigo.

"Through the window it is!"

And so, the shinigami began to infiltrate the house via the bathroom window.

--Hitsugaya--

"Why don't you go to bed," suggested Yuu.

Hitsugaya stared at the man, then got up and started to head to his room. _It's not like I have any other choice. He's just going to stop me. _Hitsugaya spotted his phone lying on a table. He quickly pocketed and continued on his way. On his way he passed by a bathroom, the bathroom.

_What? Are they really in there? _

Hitsugaya turned the door knob to the bathroom and opened the door.

--The Others--

Rukia was through and Ichigo was coming through. Once Ichigo was through, Renji slipped through. Next came Ikkaku, who got stuck.

"Damn it, I got stuck!"

"Keep your voice down," hissed Ichigo.

"Yeah, yeah, can you give me a hand?"

"Fine."

Renji and Ichigo went to help Ikkaku. Both grabbed an arm and pulled. But…it only succeeded in hurting Ikkaku.

"H-hey! That hurts!"

"Keep your voice down."

"Well, I would if you weren't trying to rip my arms off!"

The door knob started to turn.

"Oh, shit," said Renji.

"Way to go, Ikkaku," hissed Ichigo. "You let them know we were here."

The door slowly started to open. The shinigami started to have freaked out expressions slide onto their faces.

The door opened to reveal familiar white hair and emerald eyes.

--Hitsugaya--

He opened the door, and saw Ikkaku stuck in a window with Ichigo and Renji each holding an arm and Rukia just standing there. All of them had a look that read 'oh-shit-we've-been-caught.'

"What the hell are you doing?" Hitsugaya asked as he entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

"Hit-Hitsugaya?" stammered Rukia.

"Yeah, who else would it be?"

"Uh…"

"Why are you here?"

"We came to rescue you!"

"Rescue me?"

"Yeah. You said you were with foster parents, and we heard a struggle, so we…decided to rescue you," said Renji.

"Okay then."

"Really? You're not mad or anything?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I dunno."

"Let's go. One of them is just down the hall."

"Why?"

"To prevent me leaving."

So, the group pushed Ikkaku out the window. Then Rukia left, followed by Ichigo. As Renji was leaving, he and Hitsugaya heard a yawn from outside the door. Hitsugaya turned to look at the door. The knob was moving.

"Shit…"

Renji was out the window. Hitsugaya slung one leg over the sill as the door opened.

Yuu looked at the sight before him. The child they had just gotten was straddling the window sill and there was a group of people outside the window.

Hitsugaya quickly picked up his other leg and swung it out the window. The stupefied Yuu made a mad dash to grab him. Hitsugaya jumped to the ground.

As soon as Hitsugaya hit the ground, the group of shinigami took off in the direction of Ichigo's place.

Yuu watched them go. "Damn, what am I going to tell Nanako?"

--Matsumoto--

"What are you doing here?" Matsumoto asked a…smiling Gin.

"Ah, I was bored, so I decided to pay you a visit. Didn't realize ya had landed yourself in jail. How'd ya get in there?"

"The police thought I was Hitsugaya's mother and thought I was abusing him."

"Oh, really. Interestin'. How bout I get ya out?"

"Wha…"

Without waiting for an answer, Gin cut the bars.

"Comin'?" he asked Matsumoto as he turned away from the cell.

"Wait! What about the police? They'll be after me."

"No they won't," said Gin as he pulled out a memory chikan. (AN: Thank you Cerulean Soul)

"You erased their memories?"

"Yeah."

Matsumoto starred at Gin.

"I'd better be goin'. Bye." Gin waved as he disappeared to Hueco Mundo.

--Ichigo's Place--

"So what are we going to do about Matsumoto?" asked Yumichika.

"Do what about me?" Matsumoto asked as she entered the room.

"Matsumoto!" exclaimed everyone, yes, even Hitsugaya.

"How did you get out?" asked Hitsugaya.

_Should I tell them it was Gin? No, probably not. But I can always hint. _"An old friend got me out."

_Gin_, thought Hitsugaya. _What does that bastard want?_

"Anyways, we should all be getting home now, seeing how late it is."

"Yeah, your right."

"Bye," Matsumoto called as the group of shinigami left the house.

Ichigo just starred at them before entering his house. _For some reason, I have a bad feeling about something._

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My, my. Interesting special guest, no? It took me longer to write this cause my grandma kept sending me up to my room to tell my sister and her friends to stop playing DDR.

And she said, "Can't they play it without moving?" XD

Next time, we shall see what Eleanor and her PI are up too! Oh yeah!


	10. The Return of the Stalking!

Hmm…yesterday…I didn't feel like writing. Was a lazy day. So, here's chapter 10 and the return of ….Eleanor!

Don't own Bleach.

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Return of the Stalking!

Echizen Takeshi walked to the office of his boss, Ottawa Yamizeki, Private Investigator. He had asked him and a bunch of his other "watchers" to watch this group of kids, suspected of gang activity. They had started yesterday and hit pay dirt.

_Sweet berries ready for two ghosts are no different than you._

_Ghosts are waiting for you._

_Are you…_

_Sw..._

Takeshi turned off his iPod. He liked System of a Down, one of his favorite American bands. He entered the door to his boss's office and saw his boss and the client.

"So, you've gotten information already?" Yamizeki asked.

"Yes, sir. We followed the group, but…two members were missing…in the beginning."

"In the beginning?" asked Eleanor.

"Why don't we let him tell it from the beginning?"

"Yes, of course. Sorry."

"That's alright, ma'am," said Takeshi. "We all met across the street to decide who would follow who. I'm following Ichigo, Sam's following Renji, Kyo is following Matsumoto, Kai's following Orihime…" _Lucky bastards. _"Shinji is following the feathered one, Ray is following the other chick, Su is following the bald one, and Marilyn is following Hitsugaya. The group left, excluding Orihime, so Kai stayed. The rest of us followed the group; there was no sign of Hitsugaya or Matsumoto. The group headed to a house, where they entered through a bathroom window. Renji, Ichigo and the girl entered without a hitch, the bald one got stuck. After a few minutes, the bald one was out of the window and the others who had entered came out as well. And…one more came out, Hitsugaya. We believe that he had pretended to be a homeless child or orphan or whatever to get the people who owned the house to let him in. It was probably a burglary. What they stole we don't know. Surprisingly, this wasn't on the news this morning."  
"It wasn't? This sort of thing makes the news, normally," said Yamizeki in surprise.

"No doubt Hitsugaya sweet talked the people into believing he was this innocent little dear so they don't believe the were robbed," said Eleanor, nastily.

"Continue."

"Yes, sir. We followed them to a clinic. The Kurosaki Clinic. We believe this to be Ichigo's last name, for when the group left, he and the girl stayed. We have no idea what happened inside the clinic, but about twenty minutes after they had entered the house, Matsumoto showed up in an orange jumpsuit. It was one from the county jail…"

"She broke out of jail! I wonder what she did to end up in there in the first place?" pondered Eleanor.

"I don't know ma'am. If I may continue?"

"Oh, yes. Sorry."

"A short while after she came, the group, sans Ichigo and the girl, as mentioned before, left the clinic. We each followed our assigned person home. This is all the information we have as of now."

"Why aren't you still with your person?" asked Eleanor.

"They're in school. We decided to tell the two of you the information we have since we were all in one place," Takeshi said with a look that read 'is-this-lady-really-this-stupid?'

"Ah, silly me. I forgot what day it was."

"Good work, Echizen. You may go back to your post."

"Yes, sir," Takeshi said.

As soon as Takeshi left, Eleanor said, "That boy has really nice manners. That's so hard to find in young people these days."

"Tell me about it."

--At School--

It was lunch time. So the gang of shinigami and the others were sitting in a corner of the classroom. Hitsugaya looked out the window.

"The dark, long haired one (AN: Takeshi) is back."

"Hmm…why do you care about them?" asked Ishida.

"They followed us to school," said Ichigo.

"Oh, so you can detect reiatsu better now."

"No."

"Then how did you know you were being followed."

"They guy whose following me was listening to music really loud."

"Oh. Why would he do that?"

"Cause he's stupid."

"Wait, why are you being followed?"

"Because Orihime's aunt thinks we're in a gang," said Renji.

"Really now, I don't know where she could have gotten the idea," said Ishida with a glance at Ikkaku.

"Why are you looking at me for?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing my ass. You think I would be in a gang, don't you?"

"Well, 11th division is very much a gang, since you all like to fight so much."

"Why you…" said Ikkaku, preparing to launch himself at Ishida.

"Down boy," said Matsumoto as she punched Ikkaku.

The bell rang, lunch was over.

"What are we going to do about them?" asked Rukia.

"Play with them" said Hitsugaya as he took his seat.

--After School--

"Play with them? What's that suppose to mean?" asked Yumichika.

"Well…they think we're in a gang, right? So, we'll pretend to be a gang. Then when they go to report to their boss, we shall follow them and us the memory chikan to erase their memories, their boss's memories, and Eleanor's memories, if she's there," said Hitsugaya.

"That's a good idea, but, how'll we pretend to be a gang," asked Ichigo.

As if on cue, Reiichi Ōshima appears.

"Eh, Kurosaki, how many times I gotta tell you to dye your hair back to black. Your ruining my cred."

"And how many times do I have to tell you this is my natural hair color, jackass," said Ichigo as he punched Reiichi.

"Is that how it's gonna be, fine," he reached into his pants to get his brass knuckles, but Ichigo kicked him before he could do so. Ichigo then procceded to beat the shit out of Reiichi.

When Ichigo was finished, Hitsugaya said, "That's one way. Who is he?"

"Reiichi Ōshima. He's always wanting fight me cause I have orange hair and he dyed his hair orange. He wants me to dye mine black so we don't have the same hair."

"Die you hair? How do you kill your hair?" asked Rukia.

Ichigo stared at her. "Not die, as in d-i-e, but dye, d-y-e. It's when you change the color of your hair, or the color of anything, really."

"Oh."

The group started to walk away from the twitching Reiichi.

"I have an idea," said Orihime. "Let's beat someone up for their luch money."

"Inoue, they've already spent their money. School is over," said Ichigo.

"Oh, I've always wanted to say 'Give me your lunch money.'" (AN: Orihime saying "Give me your money." to someone reminds me of the scene in PotC when Jack and Will are trying to steal the ship.)

They all just stared at her.

"What?"

"Never mind."

--Later--

Takeshi was happy. They had gotten plenty of gang activity from the group. They had followed each of the people home, and since they hadn't left in several hours, they had all decide to report into Yamizeki.

Little did they know that they were being followed.

Once he reached the door he opened it and went inside, followed by the others.

--Switching POV--

The door closed.

"Ottawa Yamizeki, Private Investigator," read Matsumoto. "She hired a private invsetigator? Why?"

"Probably cause she's too scared to follow us around," said Ikkaku.

"And also becaue she was caught last time," said Hitsugaya. "She probably thought that hiring a private investigator would be more benefical since they know what they're doing."

"Well, this one doesn't," commented Ichigo.

"So, when are we going in to erase their memories?" asked Renji.

"Now," whispered Hitsugaya.

And with that the group barged into the office. The people inside looked surprised, then afraid. They had been followed.

"You were followed,"yelled Yamizeki.

"S-sorry," one of them stammered.

Rukia went up one of the ones that had followed her and Ichigo and used the memory chikan on him, he passed out.

"W-what the h…." his scentence was cutoff as Matsumoto used her memory chikan.

They rest, save the private investigator, were quickly dispatched with the memory chikan.

Hitsugaya walked up to the private investigator. "Where's Eleanor?"

"W-what did you do to them?"

"It doesn't matter. Where is she?"

"Are you going to do it to me too?"

"Of course."

"Then I'm not telling."

"Fine."

Hitsugaya used the memory chikan and the detective was out like a light.

"So, how are we going to find her now?" asked Yumichika.

"Simple, we'll go to this address," said Hitsugaya as he pulled a slip of paper off the desk.

--Flashback--

"I don't think it's safe for me to be staying at your place," said Eleanor, her voice full of concern.

"Why not?" asked Yamizeki through a mouth full of food. They were eating lunch.

"Because they'll be after me and if they get me, I want you to continue looking after them."

"But…"

"Please, let me go someplace else."

"Do you have any other place to go to?"

"No. But…"

"I'll pay for a hotel room."

"Really? Oh thank you."

--End Flashback--

The group of shinigami looked up at the hotel.

"Damn, that's big," commented Ikkaku.

"Does it have the room number?" asked Ichigo.

"Yeah," said Hitsugaya, reading the paper. "Room 305."

"Then it's on the third floor. Let's go."

The shinigami approached the hotel.

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Next chapter we ish gonna have a special guest! Woot! And will Eleanor's memory be erased? And what else will happen, cause this is still Week 1.


	11. Bye Bye Memory

So….Eleanor is goin' down! Now all I need to do is figure out what to do for the other two weeks of her visit. XD

Don't own Bleach.

Special quest for: Jay Kamiya, who wanted a captain to appear. Look, a hint to who it might be!

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Bye Bye Memory

The group of shinigami entered the hotel. They walked to the elevator and got in. Ichigo pressed for the third floor.

"How are we going to get into her room?" asked Matsumoto.

"We can always pick the lock," said Renji.

"Do we have things to pick the lock with?"

"Uh…no."

"I don't think that's going to work," said Ichigo.

"Why not?"

"Because…."

The elevator doors opened and the group went in search of room 305. They eventually found the room, after having gone in the wrong direction (the elevator was in the middle of the floor).

"Now to try and pick……What the hell!" exclaimed Renji upon seeing the door knob.

"Like I said, it's not going to work," said Ichigo.

You see, the door to the hotel room was one where you had to have a special key card. You stuck said key card into the slot and waited for the little light to turn green, then pushed on the door knob and entered you room, if you were lucky enough. Those things could be tricky.

"So, how are we going to get in?" asked Matsumoto again.

"We either get a key card somehow, or…break down the door," said Ichigo.

"Can't we just knock and say we're room service or something?" asked Orihime.

"There's an eyehole, so she could see us and not open the door."

"Oh."

"How do we get a key card?" asked Rukia.

"We either go down to the front desk and tell some bullshit story and they some how give us a key, or we can steal one from the maids; they have a master key card that will open all the doors."

"I go for the busting down the door plan," said Ikkaku.

"So do I," said Hitsugaya, "we need to erase her memories as soon as possible."

"Okay then."

So, Ikkaku and Renji busted down the door. They could hear a terrified scream from within in and some scrambling around.

They group entered the room cautiously. She still might have the knife she stabbed Hitsugaya with (and she did.) As soon as Ikkaku rounded that little corner caused by the bathroom into the part where the bed with, something flew at him.

But…it missed and got stuck in the wall. But, it was a very narrow miss. And the thing she threw…was a butter knife.

"What the hell is your problem?" yelled Ikkaku, pointing his finger at Eleanor, who was a sight to see.

Her hair was all over the place, and so was her make-up. She was crouched on the far side of the room, behind the bed, with that kitchen knife in her grasp. In her other hand was a ….

The wine bottle flew towards Ikkaku and hit its mark.

"Shit!" yelled Ikkaku as shards of glass got in his eyes.

The rest of the group started towards her, slowly. And as they approached, Eleanor slowly got to her feet. Rukia reached her first, about to use the memory chikan when Eleanor lunged at her with the knife and Rukia dodged out of the way. Eleanor continued her mad attack and lunged at Ichigo, who quickly side-stepped to narrowly avoid the blade. Next she lunged at Renji, who fell on his butt, then turned around when she heard foots steps and slashed across Yumichika's face, who had tried to sneak up on her and didn't expect her to hear him.

"My beautiful face!"

Eleanor next encountered Matsumoto, who had gotten the butter knife out of the wall after many attempts and much effort. Eleanor swung her knife, knocked the butter knife out of Matsumoto's hands, cause come on, a butter knife taking on a blade like that? She swung at Matsumoto's chest, who quickly ducked and rolled away, kicking a leg out to trip Eleanor. Eleanor saw this and jumped over the outstretched leg. Hitsugaya came at her, memory chikan at the ready. She swung and the blade sliced up from his wrist to his elbow.

"Shit…"

Eleanor made her way to the door, passing the crouching Ikkaku, who was still trying to get the glass out of his eyes. He stopped his attempts and grabbed one of Eleanor's ankles, sending her flying. She reached behind her and stabbed Ikkaku's hand once, twice, three times before he let go.

"Dammit, this is one crazy bitch."

Eleanor made it to the knocked down door. She laughed manically. _Free, free! Out this door and I am free!_

Hitsugaya started toward her when all of a sudden, a hand appeared in the doorway with a memory chikan. Next thing they know, Eleanor was sprawled across the floor, unconscious.

The body attached to the hand came into view.

"U-Ukitake!" exclaimed Hitsugaya.

"Ah, hello Toshiro-kun," said Ukitake, waving his hand. (AN: I don't know what he would call Hitsugaya, so, I'm going with this.)

"What are you doing here!"

"I heard about your problem from Yoruichi. So, I decided to help since we Shirou-chans' need to stick together!"

Hitsugaya's face took on an 'oh-shit' look. A group of people he didn't get along with knew his embarrassing childhood nickname. "Wait…how did Yoruichi know?" He turned to look at Renji.

"Uh…I…accidentally let it slip out…"

Hitsugaya just stared at him.

"Well, we're glad for the help," said Ichigo. "She was trying to attack us all. Except for Inoue. Where is Inoue?" asked Ichigo, looking around.

"Right here!" Orihime exclaimed from near Ikkaku, where she was treating his wounds.

"You…were doing that the whole time?"

"Oh no, I had to use the bathroom, so I went."

They all just stared at Orihime.

"What?"

They just kept staring.

"What about the security guards and the other people who work at the hotel?" Ichigo asked after awhile.

"What about them?" asked Renji.

"Well, there are video cameras and people probably would have heard you and Ikkaku bust down the door."

"Oh, right. We should go erase their memories and get rid of the videos."

"What about Eleanor?" asked Matsumoto.

"Someone can take her to Orihime's place," said Hitsugaya.

"Who?"

"Not me," said Hitsugaya as he left to go erase the memories of the security guards and whoever might have heard anything. Ukitake followed him, waving bye at the other shinigami.

"You guys have fun, I have to head home. I'm late as it is, my father's probably gonna attack me as soon as I get through the door," said Ichigo, leaving the room.

"Me too," said Rukia, following Ichigo.

"Hey, w-wait, that's not fair. You just can't leave," said Renji, following the pair and getting into a verbal argument.

"Well, that leaves you two," said Matsumoto looking over at Yumichika and Ikkaku.

"Why can't you two do it?" shouted Ikkaku.

"Cause it's a man's job. Unless you're admitting that you're weaker than two girls."

"I am not weak! Come on, Yumichika!"

"B-but…" _Does he not realize that he's been dupped?_

"No buts."

So the two 11th divison shinigami picked up Eleanor. "Man, she's heavy." Matsumoto was doing her best to not laugh out loud. Her plan had worked all to well.

--Later--

"You guys are just now getting here," said Hitsugaya from the couch as the door opened to enter the quartet that were carrying Eleanor.

"Yeah. These two pansies kept asking for breaks, saying that she was 'too heavy,'" said Matsumoto, pointing her finger behind her at the two shinigmai partically dragging Eleanor into the apartment.

"How did you get here so fast!" exclaimed Ikkaku upon seeing the 10th divison captian sitting on the couch calmly sipping tea.

"They were all in one room. Not to mention, I had help from Ukitake-taichou. And I used shunpo since I'm not carrying a heavy load."

"W-where do we put her?" asked Yumichika. This woman was heavier than she looked.

"In there," said Orihime, pointing at a room.

"Thanks."

They waited a few minutes before Ikkaku and Yumichika reappeared.

"Well, we're off," said Yumichika.

"Yeah, bye, _Shirou-chan_," said Ikkaku in a mocking voice.

A vien throbbed in Hitsugaya's forehead as he set his mug down with more force than required.

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And this conclued Week 1. Stayed tune for Week 2.

Oh, right. My cousin is coming down tomorrow, so….my grandma wants me to spend time with him. So updates might become infrequent, and he's staying for over 2 weeks. But I shall try and keep up my daily posts as best as I can.


	12. Bravo's 11th Scariest Movie Moment

Be afraid. This idea came to me after I drank 4 Pepsi's and Thursday being the first time in a really long time to drink caffeine. So, me ish very hyper. This idea came to me as I was watching Bravos' 100 Scariest Movie Moments, at 4 am.

Also, the thing about my cousin, ignore it. He isn't here. I forgot to get rid of it. I wrote the chapter on Tuesday and was unable to post until last night.

Don't own Bleach or Audition, which belongs to Takashi Miike. Or Misery.

By the way, I've never seen the whole movie; this is just based of clips and descriptions from said show.

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Bravo's 11th Scariest Movie Moment

Hitsugaya let out a sigh. His body still hurt from Eleanor's attack. He had yet to ask Orihime to heal his wounds. He should probably go and ask her now.

He crossed to the door, opened it and stepped out into the hallway. He went down to Orihime's room and knocked. No answer.

_Is she in there and just can't here me? Or…is she not there? There is only one way to be sure…but do I really want to open this door? What if she's changing or something?_ Hitsugaya thought, the slightest of blushes creeping up his face. _Ah, what the hell. _

Hitsugaya grasped the door knob and turned it. The door swung open to reveal…an empty room. _Where is she then?_

He then traveled to Matsumoto's room, only to discover that it was empty as well. He decided to sense their reiatsu. Neither of them was in the apartment.

He walked to the living room. Eleanor was sitting there watching TV. _Am I alone with this crazy woman? I mean…we did substitute her memories, but that doesn't mean she still isn't crazy. She could always return to that way of thinking. _

"Do you know where Matsumoto and Orihime are?" Hitsugaya asked as he entered the living room.

Eleanor peeled her eyes away from the screen to look at Hitsugaya. "They mentioned something about going to the mall. I thought you had gone with them. Teenagers seem to like the mall. But then again…you aren't a teenager, are you? Because you look way too cute to be one," said Eleanor.

Hitsugaya glared at her. _The mall? Why didn't they tell me? Oh well._

"It's rude to glare at someone. Especially if that someone is your elder."

"Sorry."

"You don't sound sorry."

"…"

"Kids these days."

There were a few minutes of silence before Hitsugaya asked, "What are you watching?"

"Audition. It's my favorite movie. You should watch it, you might like it."

_Audition? Is it about a play or something? Doesn't sound scary _(AN: How wrong he is.)_. So, why not?_

"Sure," said Hitsugaya as he took a sit on a chair as far away from Eleanor as possible.

"Do you want to know why it is my favorite movie?"

_Because it has a sappy love story? _"No, not really."

"Well, I'm going to tell you anyway." _Oh joy._ "It is because I identify some much with the character Yamazaki Asami. If only I could be like her." Eleanor looked all starry-eyed. Hitsugaya sighed. This was going to be along wait.

The movie finally came back on; it had gone to commercial when Hitsugaya entered.

"It's a pity you will only get to see the last few fifteen minutes. The rest of the movies good, too. But the last fifteen minutes are the best.

Hitsugaya ignored her and just watched the screen. He had nothing else to do, right?

--From this point on, we shall be in Hitsugaya's head--

_A guy walking into an apartment. Really exciting._

_A bag? Wha…oh, shit, it just moved! What the hell? What kind of movie is this!_

_T-there's a person inside it! And…he's missing fingers…and legs…and what the hell._

Eleanor was watching him, not the movie, an amused look on her face.

_She didn't tell me what kind of movie it was on purpose! _

_Oh no, there's a chick behind that guy! And the guy goes down._

_Okay…she looks like she belongs in 12th division in that outfit. Stark white dress, black leather apron and gloves. Definitely 12th division material._

The image on the screen showed the guy lying on a white sheet of some material. The woman reached into a bag and pulled out the needle. She opened the guy's mouth and injected the liquid into the tongue.

_What does that do? Does it paralyze the body? It seems so._

The woman then started to pull out acupuncture needles. She took these and started to put them into the man's body, starting at his face and working her way down. She did this all with a smile on her face.

_Most definitely 12th division. I can just imagine Kurotsuchi doing something like this. In fact, he probably has. This is so…wrong._

The woman then pulled out these really long acupuncture needles. She then started to push them ever so slowly into one of the man's feet. The whole time she was doing this, she was smiling like a sweet little girl.

_This is so wrong. And she said she identified with this character? Okay, I really don't know if I should still be in this room with her any more. If she can identify with the psycho character in the movie, then what is she capable of doing? I know some extent, _he thought as he touched his stomach gently. _But what if there is more to it? What if she's a sadist or something?_

The movie was finally over.

"Did you enjoy it?" she asked, that smile still in place.

_Like I'm actually going to tell what I really think of this movie. _"It's…different."

"Is that all you can say?" Eleanor asked, sounding a tad disappointed.

"Well, I haven't seen the whole movie," _and I don't want to, _"so I can't say for sure."

"True."

Eleanor flipped through the channels and stopped on one channel. "This one is supposed to be airing another movie I like. _Misery. _It's almost over as well, but I enjoy _Audition_, so much more. Oh, my favorite scene."

The TV now showed a woman placing a block in between the feet of a man who was strapped to the bed. The woman seemed sweet, but there was something ominous about the whole wooden block in between the man's feet.

The man was pleading with the woman, telling her to not do what she was planning on doing.

The woman raised a sledgehammer into view of the screen. _Oh shit! _

The man was still pleading. The woman took the hammer and WHAM and a scream of pain from the man. She had knocked the sledgehammer against one of the man's ankles, and it had swung against the wooden block, so that the foot was bent at a very, very unnatural angle. _Oh God, how can she just sit here with a smile on her face? Is she really enjoying this? It's so sick and wrong…and creepy. _

The woman walked to the other side of the bam and another WHAM and another scream and another leg bent unnaturally.

"You know, I've just remembered that I have homework to do. I'll see you later," said Hitsugaya as he stood and retreated into his bedroom. He did not want to see any more body parts bent the wrong way. And those movies provided that something sweet and innocent could be cruel and murderous. _I hope Eleanor doesn't try anything like that on us. She probably would have if we hadn't substituted her memories and made her paranoid enough._

--Three Hours Later--

"Hey, taichou," said Matsumoto as she entered Hitsugaya's room. "Eleanor said that you had stayed in here most of the time we were gone. Are you afraid of her or something?" asked in a joking manner.

"Matsumoto," he responded in a ticked off voice.

"Well, that's what it seems like. It's not like she can do anything."

"In case you're forgetting, she has stabbed me several times. I wouldn't call that not being able to do anything."

"It was just a one time deal. Orihime and I have both checked her room to make sure there are no weapons. And you've probably checked it yourself, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"So what is there to worry about?"

"It's just that the movies she was watching…they had character who seemed to be nice, but in fact were a little unstable and sadistic, masochistic, or whatever. And she said that she could identify with a character who tortured people. What if she's like the characters in the movies and decides to hurt us?"

Matsumoto stared at her taichou. She then broke out into laughter.

"What's so funny!"

"You…you are. You seem so…paranoid and so…childish. Oh God! Thanks, I needed a good laugh," said Matsumoto as she left Hitsugaya's room, laughing the whole time.

_Stupid Matsumoto. I was being serious, and all she does is laugh at me, _Hitsugaya thought grumpily as he lay back on the bed.

_Just two more weeks and Eleanor is gone. Hopefully she doesn't go psycho again._

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Hm…not that long. Oh well! I've never seen either movie in its entirety, but I have seen more of Misery than of Audition. All I really know about Audition comes from the show mentioned in the first author's note. That and that it freaked out Rob Zombie. Now that's saying something.

Oh, and if Hitsugaya seems a little OOC, it's because it's his first time watchin scary movies.

Will Eleanor becomelike the psycho characters in those movies? Will she be worse? And what happened to Rien? Stayed tune for more.


	13. The Reason Why

Uh….right, be having difficulty on coming upwith ideas for this. And debating on whether or not I should post this idea. It's really….strange, one could say.

Anyways, as you can see, I'm putting it up.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Bleach, Sharpie or anything mentioned that has been trademarked or copy righted or whatever.

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The Reason Why

Eleanor was in the kitchen, baking. She thought they were good, but she would like someone to test them. But, Orihime and Matsumoto had gone to the mall…again. She was beginning to think they were avoiding her.

Hitsugaya walked into the kitchen. _Where is Matsumoto? She's not here again._ He looked up and saw Eleanor and a bunch of……sweets.

"Ah, Hitsugaya, could you do me a favor?"

"What sort of favor?" he asked suspiciously.

"Don't act so suspicious, it's nothing bad."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, sure."

"What is it?"

"I want you to taste these treats."

_Taste food! _Hitsugaya thought in alarm. _She's Orihime's aunt; do I really want to taste anything she's made?_

"Don't worry. I'm a much better cook than Orihime."

"Really?"

"Really really."

"Well, I'm sorry; I'm not going to do it. I don't eat sugary products."

"Ah, why not? It's really good," she said, waving one of the sugary delights in front of Hitsugaya to tantalize him.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Still waving the treat.

"Yes," but with a lot less force than the 'no'. The treat smelled really good.

"Are you really sure?" The treat still waving in front of his eyes, which were following the treat.

"No…I mean yes."

"Really now?"

"No."

"So you'll try it?"

"Uh….sure." _It's not like anyone's going to find out I ate sugar from this woman when I don't eat the treats Ukitake gives me._

"Thanks," said Eleanor with a big smile. "Okay, this is a cream cheese crescent square," she said as she handed the treat of gooeyness to Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya took the treat and bite into it. It was really gooey and sweet…and extremely rich. He finished the thing of in five seconds.

"Well?"

"It's really good."

"Okay, this is a peanut butter brownie."

And once again, Hitsugaya devoured the treat. _She is a lot better cook than Orihime. This tastes good. She probably doesn't combined weird ingredients together._

"This is a Reese's Peanut Butter Bar."

Hitsugaya ate it, a part of him thinking he should probably stop before he gets sugar high.

--30 Minutes Later-- (AN: Too lazy to write the names of all the treats. But there are a lot. And it wouldn't be that interesting.)

It's official. Hitsugaya was slowly partially sugar high. And he wanted more. He bounced on the balls of his feet, watching Eleanor with hawk eyes, hidden by a convenient post between kitchen and living room. He saw where he placed the treats and watched as she walked out of the kitchen and down the hall, and saying "I'm going to take a nap."

Hitsugaya's mouth twitched upwards in a smile. He could eat as much as he wanted with out getting caught.

He silently tipped-toed into the kitchen, just in case there was anyone around. He snuck over to the treats and began to devour the vast majority of them.

--A Little Bit Later--

The door knob slowly twisted to the right. The door slowly began to open, revealing a sleeping form on the bed. A figure gently pushed the door all the way open and began to tiptoe into the room and slinked across the room to the sleeping form. He pulled out an object from his back pant's pocket. He raised it and leaned over the prone form.

A giggle escaped Hitsugaya's lips as he took the cap off the Sharpie. He gently placed the marker over Eleanor's lips and began to draw a mustache. He then drew glasses around her eyes, added a mole to her nose and various stars and hearts on her cheeks.

He then pulled out some whipped cream and began to spray it on Eleanor's hair, up her nose, and into her mouth, which he had opened carefully. He shook the can; it still had plenty in it. He then opened his mouth and sprayed the rest of the can into his mouth, which succeed in making him higher than he already was.

Hitsugaya proceed to make an elaborate set up in Eleanor's bedroom, much like that scene from _The Parent Trap _(the newer one). When he was finished, he set up a video camera and left the room, avoiding all the traps.

--An Hour Later--

"Taichou," called Matsumoto. She and Orihime had just finished hiding from Eleanor for the day. A tiny part of her felt guilty for leaving Hitsugaya alone all the time with that woman. But only a tiny part.

"Taichou?" She called again, looking around the living room.

She spotted him sitting cross-legged on the couch with a package of Oreos nearby. A cookie was in his mouth as he looked up at Matsumoto.

Matsumoto couldn't take it. Her uptight, serious, genius captain sitting cross-legged on the couch with a cookie sticking out of his mouth was too hilarious. She began to laugh.

"What?" asked Hitsugaya asked around a mouth full of Oreo.

"You!"

"I don't see what's so funny," said Hitsugaya after he swallowed the cookie.

Matsumoto just laughed.

An undignified scream came from the direction of Eleanor's room. A slight smirk crossed Hitsugaya's face. Orihime rushed to Eleanor's room and pulled open the door, only to be covered in chocolate sauce.

Matsumoto went to go help, and promptly began to laugh again. The sight Eleanor made was just too….priceless. She had a mustache, glasses, and stars and hearts drawn on her face, whipped cream in her nose and on her hair, honey covered her body, and her clothes were soaked, and there were feathers on her body.

"What happened to you?" Matsumoto asked when she had calmed down.

"I don't know!" Eleanor snapped.

"No need to get snappy."

--After They Had Cleaned Up the Mess--

"Taichou, you didn't do this by any chance, did you?" asked Matsumoto, cause he was the only person who could have done it.

"No. I wouldn't do something like that. You know that," said Hitsugaya as he ate his 60th Oreo.

"Wow…I've never seen you eat so much sugar before."

"I haven't eaten all that much sugar."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Hitsugaya stare after Matsumoto. _She's getting suspicious, better take care of her. Don't want my fun to end._

--Later--

Matsumoto turned over a bit in her sleep as she thought she felt something wet touch her.

Hitsugaya cursed under his breath. He'd nearly been caught. _Stupid hair dyes_. _Hair having to be wet to work. _Hitsugaya applied the hair dye to Matsumoto's hair. Then sat back to wait until it was time to rinse it out.

When the thirty minutes were up, he washed the dye out of Matsumoto's hair and snuck out of the room.

--Later--

Matsumoto woke, stretching to get the kinks out. She dragged her self off the bed and walked zombie-like to the bathroom. She flipped on the switch and headed to the toilet. However, she happened to glance her reflection. She paused in her tracks and turned to the mirror.

Matsumoto screamed in horror. Her hands went to her hair. Someone had…had…had…dyed it……PINK!

"What is it Rangiku-san," Orihime asked as she rushed into the bathroom.

"My….hair," she said in a horrified voice, running her hands through her had.

"Oh. Do you know who did it?"

"I think I know."

Matsumoto charged out of the bathroom and made a bee line to Hitsugaya. "TAICHOU!"

Hitsugaya looked up from the manga he was reading, a chocolate chip cookie in his hands, halfway to his mouth.

"What?" he asked, voice all innocence.

"You…you…you did this to me!"

"No, I didn't."

"Well, I think you did. Orihime and Eleanor wouldn't do something like this. I believe you've had too much sugar," she said as she snatched the cookie out of Hitsugaya's hands.

"My cookie…." he whimpered, big puppy dog eyes looking up at Matsumoto.

"No."

"But I like the cookie," Hitsugaya said as he reached for the cookie. (1)

"No..."

"Pwease."

"No. Look what it's done to you."

"Pretty pwease."

"No, taichou."

"You're mean," Hitsugaya exclaimed as he ran to his room.

_He's going to be so embarrassed come morning_, Matsumoto thought as Hitsugaya slammed the door.

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Yeah, Hitsugaya's OCC. But sugar can do that to you.

(1)- If anyone can tell me the movie I got this quote from, you can decide what happens next! This is partially done since I'm too lazy to come up with my own ideas.

So next week is decided by one of you! See you then.

Right, explanation for the title. I'm assuming Hitsugaya doesn't eat the candy given to him by Ukitake and this is the reason why he doesn't do it. He turns into quite the little evil one, no?


	14. You've Just Doomed Yourself

Yay! This is doing really good. Woohoo. Over 100 reviews. Yosh! -Throws confetti on everyone.-

Here's the part where I list everyone who's reviewed. Yeah: my sister(she went by three names, XP) , Jay Kamiya, miken-chan, Sango Hikari, YondaimeUzumaki, Ahotep, ken, Twuble, Cherry, Love Hate Angel, anon., Kiete, Yuuki Ishikawa, Anichan, forsaken 13, Scarbie, stuck-in-a-tree, i-luv-kyo-kun, i feel awfully random, Cerulean Soul, Crazy Hyper Lady, Crazy Celestial Gal, annie, Elizabeth D. O'Connell, Satan Junior no Super Hentai, H.E.Y.T.S., x.XWeirdxnxWiseX.x, 2B3B, thankyou, kawaine, Phoenix of the Northern Lights, Lady Whistledown, DigiChar, anonymus, Flypipe, InuGirl66, Random Reviewer, nobody, Yukiru a.k.a. ninja, saber, Hitaki-sama. I think that's all. Yeah…

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own Bleach or Starbucks or any other item owned by a major company mentioned within this story.

Partially based off ideas given to me by i-luv-kyo-kun and flypipe and an idea stolen from Jay Kamiya.

Hitaki-sama: You get two options. Option 1: Seeing as there are three women in the apartment, they have candy stashes around the house for _that_ time of the month. Option 2: It's magic. Your choice.

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You've Just Doomed Yourself

The door knob slowly twisted to the right. A buxom figure slowly, stealthily entered the room, with some supplies in hand. She tip toed her way to the bed, where there was a figure lying under the covers. She gently raised the sheets and…

"Matsumoto, what do you think you're doing?" came the all too familiar voice of her taichou, but not from the bed.

"TAICHOU!" Matsumoto exclaimed, leaping up in the air a bit. "I'm not doing anything," she said as she turned around, searching for Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya had situated himself on the window sill and was looking outside at the night sky.

"You didn't answer my question?"

"N-nothing," she stammered out, trying to hide the incriminating evidence behind her back.

"Really," said Hitsugaya from behind her, taking said items out of her hands.

_Damn captains for being so fast,_ thought Matsumoto, knowing she was going to upset her captain. _At least he's calm now._

"You…were going to die my hair…neon green?" (AN: Can you imagine that? XD)

"Uh…n...," she caught the look Hitsugaya was giving her. "…yes. But only because you died my hair pink!"

"So?"

"What do you mean so? It's pink for crying out loud! What will people say?"

"They probably won't notice. There are people with stranger hair colors. Some are even multi-colored."

"If that's supposed to cheer me up, it isn't working."

"Why don't you just go back to bed? I'm sorry for dying your hair pink."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay then. Goodnight, taichou."

As soon as the door closed, a smirked formed on Hitsugaya's lips. He had something else with which he could use to have fun with. _Now to get more sugar. _

--The Next Day at School--

"H….Matsumoto! What happened to your hair?" exclaimed Rukia upon the sight of seeing the 10th division fukutaichou with pink hair.

"Some one…." Matsumoto said with a glare at Hitsugaya, "had too much sugar yesterday."

"Wait!" exclaimed Renji, "you mean to say that Hitsugaya actually consumed sugar. Never thought that was going to happen."

"Well, it has. And he was on a sugar high. You should have seen what he did to Eleanor. That was priceless."

"What did he do?" They all gathered 'round to her the tale of conquering the Aunt.

"Well…"  
"I recorded it," interrupted Hitsugaya.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Cool, when can we see it?" asked Ikkaku.

"Whenever."

"Okay, class, settle down. It's time to start class."

--Much Later, near the end of class--

"And now the partner assignments for the English project." The teacher lists of a bunch of pairings not important to the point of this chapter.

"…Kurosaki Ichigo and Hitsugaya Toshiro. Okay….that's all. Class dismissed," she said as the bell rang.

--Outside the school--

"So, let's go to Barnes & Nobles to work on our project," said Ichigo.

"Okay," said Hitsugaya, eating some pocky. It was his fifth box of the day, and it was only around 3 PM.

--Barnes & Nobles (Or more accurately, Starbucks)--

"So…you want anything to drink," said Ichigo as the looked at the little menu thing.

Hitsugaya looked at the options and was completely clueless. "Um…sure. But you order."

"Okay. Go find a table that we can work at."

Hitsugaya complied with this and found a suitable table and started to eat his seventh box of pocky. He also pulled out some chocolate from his bag. (AN: That is where he is currently getting them.)

"Here you go," said Ichigo handing Hitsugaya a frosty beverage.

"What is it?" Hitsugaya asked with pocky hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

_How much candy does he have with him, _wondered Ichigo. "It's a Venti Java Chip Frappuccino."

"A what?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Never mind. Just drink it, it's really good."

"If you say so." Hitsugaya took a sip. Then he smiled, it was really good. He drank some more.

"So…what do you want to do for our project?"

"Well, seeing as I don't know any of the authors because they all came after I had died, you get to pick."

"Geez, thanks. Hmm….let's do J.R.R. Tolkien."

"Okay."

"So, let's go to my place and work."

"I thought we were going to work here."

"Well, I've changed my mind. It's getting really crowed in here."

"Okay."

--Ichigo's Place--

"Here are the books," said Ichigo, tossing some books at Hitsugaya, who sat bouncing on Ichigo's bed. That frappuccino was really good and made him more hyper than just the sugar he had been eating. He wanted more.

"Thanks, strawberry," drawled Hitsugaya.

"….What did you say?" asked Ichigo dangerously.

"Strawberry. That's what you are. Ichigo is strawberry. Yes yes," said Hitsugaya as he nodded his head up and down as he continued to bounce.

"Is not! It' means…."

"Yes, yes. I know what you are going to say. I don't care. Ichigo is strawberry."

"Shut up."

"You're just mad cause you can't beat my logic."

"Whatever. Let's just work on the stupid project."

"How can we do the project if I've never read the books?"

"Then read them."

"I don't wanna."

"Why not?"

"I just don't and you can't make me," Hitsugaya said, sticking his tongue out.

"What is your problem?"

"What do you mean?" asked Hitsugaya as he looked up at Ichigo after fishing through his bag for some more pocky.

"You're not acting like yourself, and you're eating candy. I've never seen you eat candy. None of the others have either."

"How would you know that?" Hitsugaya asked, full of suspicion.

"We talked about you at lunch."

"What? How mean."

"We all thought you were acting weird. Not paying attention, bouncing in your seat, saying weird things…"

"I'm not acting weird."

"Yes, you are."

"Want some?" asked Hitsugaya, holding out a box of pocky.

"What?" asked Ichigo, surprised at the turn of conversation.

"Do you want some? Is not that hard of a question, strawberry."

"Um…sure," said Ichigo as he took some pocky and ate it.

"Dude! You're a cannibal!"

"What!"

"Is strawberry pocky. You are strawberry. You eat fellow strawberries."  
"I'm not a strawberry! …And it's strawberry flavored pocky."

"So, you need strawberries to make strawberry flavor, right? And you are a strawberry!" (AN: My sister now has a vision of Hitsugaya eating Ichigo. XD)

"I…." The door opened to reveal Yuzu.

"Ichi-nii, do you want these lollipops?" asked Yuzu holding out a bag of Jolly Rancher lollipops.

"What flavor are they? Why do you have lollipops?"

"I just do. Watermelon."

"Watermelon…" said Hitsugaya. He liked watermelon.

"Oh. Would you like them?" Yuzu asked, directing the question at Hitsugaya.

"Yes please!"

"Okay, here you go," said Yuzu as she handed the bag to Hitsugaya.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said as she left Ichigo's room.

Hitsugaya unwrapped one of the lollipops and put it in his mouth. It tasted….interesting.

"Where were we?" asked Ichigo.

"Where were we where?"

"Wha…" said Ichigo, thrown by the question. "In the conversation, stupid."

"I'm not stupid, you mean nasty strawberry."

"STOP CALLING ME STRAWBERRY!"

"But you are."

"NO, I'M NOT."

"You're in denial."  
"I am not!"

"Yes you are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

_Man, I can't believe I'm letting him get to me like this_, thought Ichigo. "You're acting like a little kid."

A vein in Hitsugaya's forehead twitched. "What did you say?"

"You-are-acting-like-a-little-kid," said Ichigo slowly.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Am not."

"Ar….We are not starting this shit again."

"Starting what again?"

"The whole 'Are too, Am not' thing."

"We've done it before?"

"GAH!"

"…um….I is going to leave now," said Hitsugaya as he gathered up the books and left Ichigo. _I wonder what's gotten into him_.

--Midnight--

The window slowly slid upward. A small figure slipped in and gently stepped over the figure in the bed under the window. _Why does his bed have to be under the window?_

The small figure stepped onto the floor and tip toed up to the head of the sleeping one. He quickly got the hair wet then proceeded to put the hair dye in. _Call me little kid, will you? Let's see how you like this. _

While Hitsugaya waited for the time limit of the hair dye, he snuck down the stairs and to the kitchen in search of more sugar. By the time he had returned upstairs, he had consumed a whole box of Oreos and a jar of peanut butter. And a package of Pixie Stix. (AN: Oh boy, pure sugar.)

Hitsugaya rinsed out the dye and shook his head. Neither Rukia or Ichigo had even detected his presence. Oh well, it allowed him to get away with his prank. Hee.

Hitsugaya slipped back out the window and made his merry way back to Orihime's. But first….a stop at a Starbucks for another frappuccino.

--The Next Morning--

Ichigo walked sleepily into the bathroom and clicked on the light. He shuffled his way to the toilet and used the facilities. On his way back out, he glanced at the mirror.

Ichigo paused and glanced at the mirror a second time.

"WHAT THE HELL? WHAT HAPPPENED?" yelled Ichigo, hands reaching up to his hair, which had been dyed….

"What's the matter, Ichi….Kaien-dono?" asked Rukia.

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So, can anyone guess what color Hitsugaya dyed Ichigo's hair? Yay for more sugar high Hitsugaya, and caffeine. –throws more confetti- Woot!

We shall continue with sugar high and caffeinated Hitsugaya and he shall attack more unsuspecting shinigami. Bwahaha.

Stay tuned.


	15. When Will it Ever End?

o.O I find it odd that my two stories have nearly the same amount of words in them, when one has three more chapters than the other. XD

More sugar high Hitsugaya! And yes, he did dye Ichigo's hair black. : 3 Woot for all the people who guessed right. Oh, and Flypipe, the eyebrows are still orange. Loved your description.

**Disclaimer: **I no own.

Based off ideas given to me by Crazy Hyper Lady and Hitaki-sama.

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When Will it Ever End?

Ichigo was not happy. His hair was black. And all because of one short captain of the Gotei 13.

Rukia was confused. It was Ichigo….but with his hair black…he looked Kaien-dono. Well, almost like Kaien-dono. Ichigo had orange eyebrows. They looked funny with the black hair.

As the two walked to their classroom, they got many a strange look because of Ichigo's rather interesting hair and eyebrow hair colors. When they reached the classroom doors, Ichigo slammed it open. He was really not happy.

Ichigo opened his mouth to speak to the young captain when Keigo spoke up.

"Oh my God! What have you done….you look like a freak! You look like orange icing yet undisolved on black coffee!" (AN: I love that line, thank you Flypipe)

"Shut up!" said Ichigo tersely.

"Um…okay….mommy," Keigo muttered as he ran of to go hide behind Mizuiro. An extremely pissed off Ichigo was not something he wanted to deal with.

The rest of the shinigami just stared at Ichigo. He looked really strange with the black and the orange, and they were beginning to wonder if there really was some sort of connection between him and Kaien. (AN: Most of them should know Kaien, right?)

"Why did you do this?" Ichigo asked vehemently.

"You called me a little kid, the consequence of doing such are dire," said Hitsugaya calmly.

_Is he off his sugar high_, thought Ichigo, Matsumoto and Orihime. (AN: Keep wishing….he just doesn't have enough sugar in him, yet….XD)

"That's no reason to dye my hair black!"

"So……you would have preferred a different color?"

"Ye….I mean no! I would have preferred it if you hadn't dyed my hair!"

"Well, it's too late now. You're just going to have to deal with it."

"Wh…."

"Okay class, settle down now."

--After School--

Hitsugaya was happy. He had managed to get some money from Matsumoto. And now he was going to buy one of those drink thingies he had gotten yesterday with Ichigo.

He walked into the Starbucks and approached the counter. He placed his order and waited a couple of minutes before it was done.

Hitsugaya took the drink and sat at one of the tables and began to drink the frappuccino. It was gone in about five minutes. He got up, threw it away, pulled out some candy and walked down the street to the park.

Once at the park, he sat on a swing and gently rocked himself back and forth by one foot, all the while eating copious amount of sugar. He really liked this stuff. (AN: I've been punched by the Typo Nazi a.k.a my sister. XD)

As he started his tenth pack of pocky, a somewhat familiar voice asked: "Toshiro?" Hitsugaya looked up and saw a lady.

"um….hi…." Hitsugaya said brightly. She seemed familiar; he just couldn't place her anywhere.

"Come on," Nanako said, taking hold of Hitsugaya's hand and dragging him from the swing.

"Wait! Where are we going! Ra……."

"We're going home."

"Home?"

"Yes, don't you remember, I'm your foster mother."

"Oh." _Should I go or should I not? Wait…I want revenge. So go it is! _"Okay then."

--At the foster parent's house--

Nanako and Hitsugaya walked into the house. They were greeted by Yuu putting on a tie and wearing clothes one would wear either to church or going to the theatre. Which is what he and Nanako were going to do……she had obviously forgotten…….

"We only have two tickets! Oh my! Well…….."

"I could always stay here by myself," suggested Hitsugaya/

"Oh no, we couldn't do. You're much too young to be staying home all alone. What with pedophiles, robbers and all manner of vile people out there…….I couldn't risk losing you again."

"Um…."said Yuu, looking at his wife as if he couldn't believe she had forgotten one of the most obvious options parents have when going out for the night. "We could call a babysitter."

"A babysitter!" yelped Hitsugaya. He did not need a babysitter.

Nanako slapped her forehead. "How could I have forgotten that? I think Suki gave me a number when I told her we were adopting."

--Thirty Minutes Later--

The doorbell rang and Nanako went to go and answer it.

"Hi, I'm Suki, you must be Umino-san (AN: I just realized I didn't give them a last name. XD So yeah…….saw Iruka and thus their last name!) !" said a teenaged female brightly.

"Yes, please do come in?"

"Sure." Suki spotted sight of Hitsugaya and approached him. "You must be Toshiro-kun!" The girl said just as brightly as before, bending over and holding out her hand.

"Um….hi…." said Hitsugaya staring at the girl then eating some pocky.

"He's not very talkative, is he?" Suki asked, looking up at Nanao.

"No, not really."

"Well, we'll just have to break him of that," Suki said as she placed a hand on Hitsugaya's head and ruffled his hair."

He glared at her, but it didn't have the effect he wanted as a stick of pocky was hanging out of his mouth.

"Ah, so cute!"

Hitsugaya walked off, ignoring Nanako and Suki. _So, that's my babysitter. It shouldn't be too hard getting her out of the way…then I can get my revenge on them. _He ate some more pocky.

--After they left--

"Okay then, what would you like to do?" asked Suki cheerfully, clapping her hands together.

Hitsugaya stared at her, and then ate a cookie.

Suki stared back. She was getting nowhere with this kid. It sucked. "Soooooooooooo……..you want to watch a movie?"

Hitsugaya thought about the last time he watched a movie, which was with Eleanor. "No."

"Oooooooookkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy. How about playing some games?"

"Not really." He ate two more cookies.

Suki stared at him then dove for her backpack and opened it. She pulled out a bag of Blow-Pops and grabbed one, unwrapped it (with much difficulty) and shoved it in her mouth.

Hitsugaya stared at the bag of lollipops as it disappeared into the black hole…the backpack. He wanted to try one of those.

"Can I have one?"

"You mean one of these?" Suki asked as she pulled her's out of her mouth.

Hitsugaya nodded his head.

"No, cause I've seen you eat a lot of sweets and Umino-san said she saw you eating a lot too. I think you've had too much sugar."

Hitsugaya glared at her. He was going to get a lollipop, she just didn't know that. He then walked into the kitchen to go look for more cookies.

"Where are you going?" Suki asked as Hitsugaya was half way to the kitchen.

"The kitchen."

"Why?" she asked as he entered the kitchen.

"To look for some cookies," Hitsugaya said as he got up on the counter and looked in the cabinets.

"Hey!" yelled Suki, standing up and heading to the kitchen. "I told you you've had enough sugar. No more!"

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Um…." Suki entered the kitchen and was about to turn to look at Hitsugaya when all went black. Hitsugaya had hit the back of her neck (or where ever it is they hit when they knock people unconscious) with his arm. Now he could have some lollipops…..and get his revenge. All he needed to do was make sure she didn't come and bother him while he was getting everything ready.

He dragged her into the bathroom and left her on the floor. A little while later he came back with a chair, rope, and some duct tape. He somehow managed to get her into the chair in a sitting position. He tied the rope around her middle and duct taped her legs to the chair and put some on her mouth. If she was screaming then the neighbors might hear her and he wouldn't get his revenge.

--Three Hours Later--

Yuu and Nanako walked up the steps to their house. Or, were trying to. They kept slipping on….ice.

"Why is there ice now? It's not that cold."

"I really don't know dear."

They finally got inside their house. Where the promptly slid on marbles and ran into tables cause things to break.

"What the hell?" exclaimed Yuu as he kept sliding around, tripping over a string, which snapped in half and sent a paint can at his wife. Who was not paying any attention to her surroundings and was whapped up said the head with it and fell on the ground.

"Ow."

"I'm so sorry honey."

Nanako stood up and placed a hand on the wall. Her head hurt, big time. She decided to go and lay down on the couch. Well, you see, there is a something like a step from the hallway into the living room and someone had place some old school roller skates (and I mean **old** school) with a bunch of chewed gum on them, and she just so happened to step on them.

"Whoa…." Nanako tried to keep her balance, but she just couldn't do it. She fell backward on to her butt and on to a bunch of….JACKS!

"Shit!"

"Honnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy…." Yuu had come to check on his beloved and ended up tripping over her and landing into a melting bowl of ice cream, chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, nuts, cherries and anything else you can cram onto a sundae. Yuu braced his hands on the ground and pushed himself up. After he stood up, he helped his wife up, who promptly fell back down on the jacks.

"Um…you stay here, I'm gonna go and find Toshiro and the baby sitter…"

"Hey, don't leave me here!"

"Well…you can't keep your balance and I don't feel like peeling gum covered roller skates off your feet."

"Hey," Nanako yelled at Yuu's retreating form. "Grrr….I can't believe he left me here, what if it is a burglar who did this? And leaving me all defenseless. Maybe mother was right….I should have married a man who was a bit more courageous."

Suddenly, there was the sound of soft footsteps on the hard wood floor.

"Whose there?" Nanako looked around, she didn't see anything. The footsteps had stopped. _Just my imagination. I hope._

Then, a hand appeared in her face holding something and then everything went black and there was a dull thud as her head hit the floor.

Hitsugaya smirked. _Two down, one to go_, he thought as he went off in the direction Yuu had.

--With Yuu--

He had walked down the hall looking for intruders and finding none. Yuu noticed that the door to the bathroom was closed and went over to it. He slowly began to open it, and then stopped. He looked around for a weapon and grabbed the closet thing, a lamp. He then proceeded to open the door, lamp raised over his head. He was about to strike out when he notice the baby sitter all tied up in the chair.

"Oh my," Yuu exclaimed, dropping the lamp which broke into little pieces. _Oh shit, Nanako is going to kill me if she sees that. Well…I'll just have to make sure she doesn't. _Yuu went over to the baby sitter and began to untie the rope. This was easier said then done. He gave up and began to remove the duct tape.

Footsteps from behind. Yuu turned, a hand, then darkness. Hitsugaya's smirk got even wider.

--15 Minutes Later--

Hitsugaya left the house, the half empty bag of Blow-Pops in his hands. He walked down the steps and down the walkway to the sidewalk. Where he ran into Renji, literally.

"Hitsugaya!" Renji exclaimed as he nearly squashed the short captain flat. "Where the hell have you been?"

Hitsugaya pointed at the house behind him.

"Hey…isn't that the house we rescued you from?"

Hitsugaya nodded his head.

"What are you doing back here?"

Hitsugaya took the lollipop out of his mouth and said, "Revenge."

"Revenge?" asked Renji cluelessly.

"Yes, revenge."

"Care to explain?"

"No."

Renji was about to say something, but yelling and falling and all manner of noises that one makes when they are scared and surprised came from the house.

"What the hell did you do?"

"Not much," said Hitsugaya as he took another lollipop from the bag.

This was promptly snatched away by Renji.

"Hey!"

Renji also took the bag.

"What was that for? Give it back!"

"No….from what I've seen and heard from Ichigo and Matsumoto and Orihime and Rukia, you and sugar is not good. And then….that," Renji said, waving his arm in the direction of the house. "Also confirms it….no more sugar for you."

"Give it back!"

"NO!"

"I said give it back!"

"NO!"

"You dare defy someone higher in rank than you!"

"Yes," said Renji sticking out his tongue and using shunpo to escape.

There were two things on Hitsugaya's mind as Renji ran away: Revenge, and how to get back those lollipops.

--Later that night--

All was quite in Urahara Shoten, except for the occasional snore from its sleeping occupants.

The dark figure dropped gently from the roof on the neighboring building and quietly approached the shop front. The door was opened and the figure tip-toed down the hallway, heading for the reiatsu of 6th division's fukutaichou.

The door to Renji's bedroom was opened and the figure snuck in and made his way to the bed. He pulled out a bottle of hair glue and began to administer his revenge on the red headed shinigami.

Hitsugaya let out a little giggle at the sight of Renji and a wide grin when he saw the bag of lollipops. He grabbed it and left the store as quietly as he had entered.

--The Next Morning—

Renji yawned as he made his way to the bathroom. His head felt….different...somehow. Oh well, he'd figure it out later.

On his way to the bathroom he ran into Urahara.

"Um….freeloader-san…."

He hated it when Urahara called him that.

"What?"

"You….hair…" then the merchant began to laugh behind his fan, walking down the hallway to tell the others of the sight he just saw.

Renji quickly ran to the bathroom, after all, he had seen what a certain sugar high 10th division taichou had done to Ichigo and Matsumoto in their slip.

He flipped on the switch and stared at the mirror, his expression gone from surprise, to shock, to embarrassment, to pondering. How the hell was he supposed to fix this!

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Hm……….what did Hitsugaya do to Renji? Stayed tune. But….I'll give you a hint. Renji Longstocking.

Ah………….sorry for not posting in forever…..I have been extremely lazy and having to type this around my sister wanting to go on the computer. It seemed as though every time I started working on this….she would want to go on. XP


	16. Is this……the end?

Wellllllllllllllllll……………I'm sorry for not writing anything sooner. I've been extremely lazy, goofing off, and working on maintaining my high GPA. So……..hooray for a story:D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything in the following story. Except Eleanor. :D

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Is this……..the end?

--Urahara Shoten--

Renji was upset. He had been trying to get his hair back to its original state for the past eight hours. The only thing he had accomplished was freeing a few strands for their gluey imprisonment.

Urahara had vanished, saying he was going to analyze a part of the substance he had gotten from Renji's hair. That was five hours ago.

Renji grumbled and resumed his work.

--With the Others--

"I wonder why Renji didn't come to school," Rukia asked.

"Yeah, it's not like Renji to miss an opportunity to fight with Ichigo," Matsumoto stated.

"True……," Ichigo said in a deadpan voice.

"Maybe something happened to him," Hitsugaya put in innocently.

"Like what?" Matsumoto asked suspiciously. She knew what her captain had been like lately. It wouldn't surprise her if he had attacked Renji's hair as he had done to her and Ichigo.

"I don't know………..Maybe something is wrong with his gigai," Hitsugaya said as he ate more Pocky.

"Did you do anything to him?"

Pause. Eats Pocky. "No." With a voice full of innocence.

"Why do I not believe that?"

"Matsumoto, I am your captain. You're suppose to trust me. It wounds me that you don't"

"Well………." Matsumoto hesitated, not sure if Hitsugaya was sincere with that last statement. She really wanted to be someone Hitsugaya trusted, which were extremely few. "You have been acting………odd lately. And let's not forget, you did attack my hair!!!"

"So? You deserved it."

"What!?!? How did………………"

Ichigo cut her off with "Instead of arguing, why don't we go see if Renji hasn't gone and hurt himself……."

"Wait an excellent idea," Rukia said, catching on to Ichigo's plan.

"Why should we do that? It's his fault for being stupid," Ikkaku said.

Yumichika hit him. "Don't you get it? It's a diversion to stop a taichou and fukutaichou from fighting in the human world," he whispered in Ikkaku's ear.

"Oh……….I knew that."

"Sure you did."

And so our heroes left to go find out what exactly happened to one of their teammates.

--Back at Urahara Shoten--

"Hey look, it's Berryhead and Co.," Jinta said when he say the shinigami

"Stop calling me that," Ichigo said in his deadliest voice.

"Whatever. Are you here about Freeloader-san?"

"If you mean Renji, then yes."

Jinta burst out laughing. "Wa---Wait………until…….y-y-you see……him," Jinta said between laughs. "It's…….the…….funniest…….funniest thing EVER!!!" And he broke off in a mad cackle.

The group exchanged glances at each other. They were all wondering what had happened to Renji to make Jinta laugh like that. Well, all except Hitsugaya, who was wondering which flavor of Pocky he wanted to eat next.

At that moment, Urahara stepped out of the shop. "Hello," he said from behind his ever present fan. "You must be wondering what happened to Renji, yes? Well, if you want to know, just follow me." And he flashed a smile.

The group followed Urahara through the maze that was his home. They came to a door down the middle of a hallway. Urahara knocked on the door. "Oh Freeloader-san"

Renji opened the door, believing that Urahara had found a way to get his hair back to normal. He was wishing that to be true so badly, that he didn't notice the presence of the other shinigami. As soon as the door was opened and he was revealed to the others, he wanted to die in shame as they started to laugh.

"It's not that funny!!!"

"Y-yes it is!!!" Rukia shouted back at her long time friend.

Renji huffed angrily and slammed the door shut.

--A little while later--

"So, do any of you have any idea how Renji's hair got to be the way it is?" Urahara asked.

"We have our suspicions," Matsumoto said, with a sidelong glance at her taichou, who was to preoccupied with his candy.

"Really?" Urahara said with a glance at Hitsugaya. "……….a sugar-high taichou?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes……..He's the reason why Matsumoto and Ichigo look the way they do!!" Rukia said.

"I was wondering about that. I merely though Kurosaki-kun had decided to try for a new look in attempt to get a girl. And that he didn't realize that it wouldn't go with his eyebrows."

"Why you-!!!" Ichigo launched himself at Urahara, who skillfully dodged the attack, causing Ichigo to run into the wall.

"Have you tried to take away his sugar?"

They all stared at each other. "Um…………………………………no." (AN: Renji's still locked in the bathroom)

"Why not?" asked Urahara in a tone that suggested that that was the painfully obvious course of action.

"We didn't think of that," said Ichigo.

"I kind of gathered that, Kurosaki-kun."

"Um…….Is it really wise to be talking like this in front of him," Yumichika asked.

"Not really," was the reply.

Urahara was starting to form a plan to take care of the sugar-high taichou.

"So……….are you actually gonna help us stop this?" Matsumoto asked.

"But of course," Urahara said in his optimistic yet devious voice. "And I have the perfect plan."

Urahara walked over to where Hitsugaya was devouring candy. "Hitsugaya-taichou!!"

"What?"

"Ururu baked a cake, and I was wondering if you would like some" Insert patented Urahara devious smile.

"Cake? Okay!"

Urahara left the room. "Just follow me" And Hitsugaya followed Urahara to what he though was the kitchen.

Urahara pointed to a door. "The cake is just in there."

Hitsugaya looked from the doorway to Urahara and back to the doorway. "Aren't you going in?"

"No! There is a shipment due soon, and I wouldn't want to keep the delivery man wanting," coming up with the lie on the spot. "Besides, there will be more cake for you."

Hitsugaya thought this over. Then entered the room. The allure of cake was strong.

As soon as he had entered the room, Urahara slammed the door shut and locked it. Hitsugaya turned around and looked at the door. He went to it and tried to open it, to no avail.

"Hey, let me out!!"

"Not until you've gotten all the sugar out of your system."

"I demand that you let me out!"

"No."

"Then I'll break it down!" And Hitsugaya tried every Kidou he knew, but nothing would work.

Matsumoto spoke up (they had followed, to see what Urahara would do), "Um………..what can't he break it down?"

"I had this room especially designed for when Ururu got sugar high. It wasn't that fun."

"Right………… When will you let him out?"

"When there is no more sugar in him."

"How long will that take?"

Urahara looked at her. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Matsumoto raged. "We need his help if the Espada show up again!!!!!!!!!"

"Do you want him to dye you hair again?"

"……..No. On second though, let's leave him in there for as long as necessary."

"That's what I thought."

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Tada! whole new chapter. I feel rusty. D: I really don't know why I let this go for so long.

In the next chapter, Hitsugaya shall return to the captain we all know and love. Or will he?


	17. The Final Revenge!

So so sorry for not updating. I was distracted…but nothing over the summer, and I was reading my summer reading (shock shock). Then school started and filling out college applications, and I've been incredibly lazy. D: But I will try and get better.

Disclaimer: Do not own!

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Hitsugaya let out a moan of discomfort. His head hurt. He didn't know why. Oh, wait….he did. It came from all the sugar he had been eating lately.

"I'm not eating sweets ever again. I feel like crap."

He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He was in a strange room he had never seen before. He also had no clue how he had got there. Hitsugaya pondered on how he got in here, when he remembered it was Urahara who had locked him in here. He did not appreciate this, and decided to punish Urahara.

How he was going to punish Urahara, he didn't know. First, he had to get out of this room. Problem, the door was locked.

So Hitsugaya started to make plans on busting out of the room.

--A Little While Later--

Hitsugaya heard voices. More specifically, Urahara was one of those voices. He hoped Urahara opened the door, because he had a brilliant plan on what he could do to him.

Hitsugaya got close to the door so he could listen to what they were saying.

"So, is it time to check on Hitsugaya-taichou again?" asked Tessai.

"Yes. I can't believe his been out this long. Although…" Urahara paused, "I suppose it is better, as he won't attack me. Since he seems to like getting revenge on people. I wonder why?"

"That's true. Maybe it's in the way he was raised. ….What are you going to do if he is awake?"

"I don't know. Well just have to wait and see"

Hitsugaya knew it was soon that Urahara would enter this room, and he had thought of something brilliant.

When Urahara opened the door to the closet, it was like walking into a freezer. Right away he knew that Hitsugaya was awake. What he didn't know was that ice was slowly starting to form on his body.

"So, you're awake. That's good"

"Yes."

"So……..what are you going to do now?"

"Leave."

"So………you're not going to do anything to me?"

"No, I am. In fact, my plan has already worked."

"What………" Urahara looked all around to see if there was some sort of hidden trap that might do something to him, but as far as he could tell, there wasn't any. Then he looked down. He saw the ice almost to his chest and still growing. "...the fuck? You're covering me in ice!? When'd you do start that?"

"A little while before you entered. It needed to be the right temperature for this to occur." 

"Do you have some sort of issues that we don't know of?"

"No, what makes you say that?"

"You like to take revenge on people."

"And how does that mean I have issues?"

"I don't really know. It just doesn't seem natural, that's all."

"Well, I don't. I just don't like being messed with. Good bye." With that, Hitsugaya left Urahara as the ice stopped just below his chin.

--A Short While Later--

"I wonder how things went with Hitsugaya?," a concerned Rukia asked.

"Urahara can handle himself," said Ichigo, "his shown he's perfectly capable before."

"True..."

"Hitsugaya-taichou!" Matsumoto exclaimed, a little surprised to see Hitsugaya walking around.

Hitsugaya paused in his walking to look at his fellow shinigami, plus one. "What?"

"I see you are back to your old self?" Everyone peering forward to see if he really was sugar-free.

"Yes."

"That's good, " she said as everyone gave a sigh of relief. "We were a little..."

"Afraid of me when I was on sugar?" Hitsugaya supplied with a smirk.

"Um...yeah, basically."

"Hey, um, where's Urahara?" Renji butted in with.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him since I left the room." _Where he still is, but they don't really need to know that. _"Why haven't you two dyed your hair back? It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Oh...uh..." Ichigo and Matusumoto started.

"Don't tell me you actually like what I did to your hair?"

"No!"

"So then, why?"

"We...haven't gotten around to it yet," Matsumoto said nervously.

"Sure. Anyways, I'm going to head over to Orihime's."

"I'll go with you! I'd promise Orihime I'd help make something." _And to make sure Eleanor doesn't give you anymore chocolate. We do not need a repeat performance. _"Bye"

The other shingami decided to leave as well, with Renji tagging along with Rukia and Ichigo so he could learn the true power of this 'Internet'. None felt any reason to not trust Hitsugaya, and how very wrong they were.

--With Urahara--

"Help?" He questioned, unable to move at all, although he did think he had a little more neck movage, since some of the ice had melted. He looked out the doorway and saw something he didn't want to see ever again, nor did he want to see it this first time.

"Tessai!," he cried out in shock.

Tessai gave a start and turned towards the disturbance. "Urahara! What happened to you?!"

"What do you think?" the sarcasm practically oozing out of him.

"Hitsugaya-taichou got you back for locking him in here. I shall help you."

"Um...yeah, about that, could you do that when you're in you're normal state of dress, because I can't bear to stand this sight any longer than necessary."

"Of course, sir."

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Yeah...perhaps not as funny as I would like, but the next shall be! I promise!


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